"Why do we let the one thing we don't have affect all the things we do have?" ~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) While I'm not a fabulous single woman living in Manhattan, I do tend to do this all the time. It's like I'm subconsciously trying to avoid happiness. Stressing over...well, just about anything is a good way to enable this.
Currently, I'm stressing over money. I'm extremely talented at making stupid decisions when it comes to spending it. And, as with all avenues of my life, I don't listen to anyone who tries to stop me. That's all about to change. I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes right now and saying, "Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it." Touche. You're probably right in your predictions of how things will go. However, I'm going to make an honest effort. This time around, I have some backup and support (not that I didn't have it before, but this is new) that I think I can make myself pay attention to. Nonetheless, I'm working on a serious budget, paying off my student loans, not going out to eat, not going to a lot of shows (or out in general), and not spending needlessly on things I feel somehow I deserve simply because I'm fabulous in Shiremanstown. The cool thing is, I'm pretty much done with Christmas shopping. Maybe one or two little things for people yet, but pretty much done. I actually look forward to wrapping them all this weekend.
What else am I going to tackle this weekend? Well, seeing as how not much "out of the house" type of action will be going on, I'm planning an attempt to clean my kids' room. There is so much junk in there, you can't see the floor and can't fully open their door. I'm a little scared, and I may need to call in backup. But I figure with some good music, a drink or two, and maybe some chit chat along the way and I'll be good. I doubt I'll get it all done, but I want to at least be able to get in there and put clothes away or change their bed sheets for them (note: they've had to do this themselves and it's not been pretty). If you all don't hear from me for awhile, you may want to come check on me. This WILL get ugly.
On that note, I look forward to some peace this weekend, getting my haircut (don't panic), and spending some time at home. Let's see how this goes.
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Friday, December 9, 2011
Friday, July 2, 2010
One Thing At a Time
Holy wow. It's been a long time since I've bloggy-blogged. It's 4th of July weekend, and I thankfully have the kiddos to enjoy it with. We don't have exact plans (like this is anything new), but I want to take the kids to a lake of some sort with a beach since they normally have the lake experience every year along with some picnicking, which is more for my benefit. These are the things I think are fun, maybe because we did this a lot when I was a kid. When you become a parent, part of you wants to repeat those experiences for your own children and part of you wants to retain the child inside of yourself and keep reliving those awesome times. Nonetheless...that's the general idea for the weekend. And, of course, fireworks somewhere. Though Andrew doesn't know it yet, he'll be on grill duty since that's an integral part of 4th of July weekend as well.
Updates...
Since I gave you this in the last blog, I'll give you a weight loss update. The last 2 months, I've gone up a couple of pounds, down a couple of pounds. So, I really haven't lost anything during the last couple of months. However, overall I have lost 86.5 lbs. I still think that's pretty awesome, so I just have to buckle down again and do what I know works. I learned a lot of things when I worked with my "trainer turned friend". If I can just get myself to do everything he had me doing before, I'd be propelling myself forward a lot faster. But I have realized that I need to be pushed. Not in a way that's going to make me angry at you, but someone there to hold me accountable. I've also learned throughout the entire process that there are certain things that have to be as they are (as I've made them) or this will not work. They are as follows:
1. Absolutely NO chips/cookies/ice cream/etc. can be allowed in my house. I knew this before and I had to relearn it recently. Everyone has weak moments, and I am certainly not excluded. When I have weak moments, I WILL eat something. So... I can't have bad options. If a weak moment comes along, I need to be able to say that's there is either nothing enticing to bother eating or that I'll just have the apple, watermelon, celery...you get the picture. I know this is hard for everyone else, but this is my solid rule that I have to stick to. It doesn't hurt others to eat healthy as well, though.
2. Weighing myself every single day is a must. My trainer had once threatened to take my scale home with him, but he gave in when he realized I "needed" it. It's a daily ritual when I get ready and, while it does make or break my day, it also helps reaffirm how I should conduct my day. If I lost weight, I feel a little more lighthearted and I'm encouraged to continue to do well that day so I keep seeing the results. If I gained, I am encouraged to step things up a bit so I don't continue to gain. Either way, it's a win/win.
3. I must write down everything I eat, every day. I've become a meticulous calorie counter. I think about calories before I decide to eat something, which is good. It does consume your life a bit, however. (Pun not intended.) When I was working with my trainer, I wrote everything out on a piece of paper and kept a collection of them. Every time we got together, he reviewed them and based off of my progress, would adjust my calorie intake accordingly. Mostly, it was to tell me to eat more, but still. I would avoid eating bad things because I felt compelled not to cheat and knew I had to write it down. Thus, anything I wrote down, he would see. Totally helped. Now, I have an app on my whackberry that allows me to do the same thing (thanks to Andrew for this). I don't show it to anyone, but it helps me stay within a certain calorie range throughout my day. It's easy to forget about something you might have eaten, especially if you're eating more frequent, smaller meals. Even if it's an apple. It still matters.
On a different note, I've been missing my kids like crazy. I've been having nightmares about losing them, I can't stop thinking about them every second of every day, and I feel like I might go crazy during these moments they're not with me. And I feel horrible guilt when I lose my patience with them right now. For example, Drake spent 2 nights with me this week, even though it wasn't my week to have them, because of his day trip to Dutch Wonderland with his friend. The first night he did great. The 2nd night, we got home super late from the park and he was overly tired. It was rough until I got him in bed. The next morning was even worse. I had a time constraint to get us both ready, him to his dad's and then me to work. He refused to get out of bed. And when I picked him up and set him in the hall, he refused to come downstairs. He just sat there and whined. I lost my patience and yelled as I was trying to explain to him that I was going to be late for work and his behavior was ridiculous. I immediately regretted it and spent the whole trip to his dad's talking to him about why it is important to get ready when I tell him and apologizing for yelling. I hated the fact that I had to drop him off and not see him for 2 days after that happened. In fact, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I don't want the moments that I have with them to ever be negative like that. It's just not necessary. Yes, they need discipline. But still. How do you handle these situations? Regardless, I do get them after work today and I'm looking forward to a week of good quality time with them. I want to take advantage of every second.
Stress in general...I'm feeling that to the utmost extent lately. Be it financial, kids, you name it...it's on my mind. Things reach points that get very frustrating and you know it won't last. However, when you know you've made positive changes already to help your situation improve and they still aren't getting better, you feel the weight even harder. I just want to be calm, have everyone around me be calm, and things to go as planned. If I can just get that...
Otherwise, things are what they are for the moment and that's the extent of my updates. I've had great need to write these things down recently but I've not sat down in front of a computer outside of work for more than a couple minutes at a time for a couple of months now. I see everything I really need on my phone and I don't normally bother with anything else. Anyway, that's it for now and I'll hopefully be able to get to this regularly.
Enjoy the holiday weekend and celebrate our independence like crazy!!!!!
Updates...
Since I gave you this in the last blog, I'll give you a weight loss update. The last 2 months, I've gone up a couple of pounds, down a couple of pounds. So, I really haven't lost anything during the last couple of months. However, overall I have lost 86.5 lbs. I still think that's pretty awesome, so I just have to buckle down again and do what I know works. I learned a lot of things when I worked with my "trainer turned friend". If I can just get myself to do everything he had me doing before, I'd be propelling myself forward a lot faster. But I have realized that I need to be pushed. Not in a way that's going to make me angry at you, but someone there to hold me accountable. I've also learned throughout the entire process that there are certain things that have to be as they are (as I've made them) or this will not work. They are as follows:
1. Absolutely NO chips/cookies/ice cream/etc. can be allowed in my house. I knew this before and I had to relearn it recently. Everyone has weak moments, and I am certainly not excluded. When I have weak moments, I WILL eat something. So... I can't have bad options. If a weak moment comes along, I need to be able to say that's there is either nothing enticing to bother eating or that I'll just have the apple, watermelon, celery...you get the picture. I know this is hard for everyone else, but this is my solid rule that I have to stick to. It doesn't hurt others to eat healthy as well, though.
2. Weighing myself every single day is a must. My trainer had once threatened to take my scale home with him, but he gave in when he realized I "needed" it. It's a daily ritual when I get ready and, while it does make or break my day, it also helps reaffirm how I should conduct my day. If I lost weight, I feel a little more lighthearted and I'm encouraged to continue to do well that day so I keep seeing the results. If I gained, I am encouraged to step things up a bit so I don't continue to gain. Either way, it's a win/win.
3. I must write down everything I eat, every day. I've become a meticulous calorie counter. I think about calories before I decide to eat something, which is good. It does consume your life a bit, however. (Pun not intended.) When I was working with my trainer, I wrote everything out on a piece of paper and kept a collection of them. Every time we got together, he reviewed them and based off of my progress, would adjust my calorie intake accordingly. Mostly, it was to tell me to eat more, but still. I would avoid eating bad things because I felt compelled not to cheat and knew I had to write it down. Thus, anything I wrote down, he would see. Totally helped. Now, I have an app on my whackberry that allows me to do the same thing (thanks to Andrew for this). I don't show it to anyone, but it helps me stay within a certain calorie range throughout my day. It's easy to forget about something you might have eaten, especially if you're eating more frequent, smaller meals. Even if it's an apple. It still matters.
On a different note, I've been missing my kids like crazy. I've been having nightmares about losing them, I can't stop thinking about them every second of every day, and I feel like I might go crazy during these moments they're not with me. And I feel horrible guilt when I lose my patience with them right now. For example, Drake spent 2 nights with me this week, even though it wasn't my week to have them, because of his day trip to Dutch Wonderland with his friend. The first night he did great. The 2nd night, we got home super late from the park and he was overly tired. It was rough until I got him in bed. The next morning was even worse. I had a time constraint to get us both ready, him to his dad's and then me to work. He refused to get out of bed. And when I picked him up and set him in the hall, he refused to come downstairs. He just sat there and whined. I lost my patience and yelled as I was trying to explain to him that I was going to be late for work and his behavior was ridiculous. I immediately regretted it and spent the whole trip to his dad's talking to him about why it is important to get ready when I tell him and apologizing for yelling. I hated the fact that I had to drop him off and not see him for 2 days after that happened. In fact, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I don't want the moments that I have with them to ever be negative like that. It's just not necessary. Yes, they need discipline. But still. How do you handle these situations? Regardless, I do get them after work today and I'm looking forward to a week of good quality time with them. I want to take advantage of every second.
Stress in general...I'm feeling that to the utmost extent lately. Be it financial, kids, you name it...it's on my mind. Things reach points that get very frustrating and you know it won't last. However, when you know you've made positive changes already to help your situation improve and they still aren't getting better, you feel the weight even harder. I just want to be calm, have everyone around me be calm, and things to go as planned. If I can just get that...
Otherwise, things are what they are for the moment and that's the extent of my updates. I've had great need to write these things down recently but I've not sat down in front of a computer outside of work for more than a couple minutes at a time for a couple of months now. I see everything I really need on my phone and I don't normally bother with anything else. Anyway, that's it for now and I'll hopefully be able to get to this regularly.
Enjoy the holiday weekend and celebrate our independence like crazy!!!!!
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