Well, it's more like day 1,000,000 but there is always another day 1 when you're trying to get back on track. For the last 4 years (approximately), I gave up dieting and started losing weight. What I mean by this is taking the mean approach to simply eating right and exercising. To date, I have lost 115 lbs. Sounds smooth sailing, right? Ha! Not a chance. I have backtracked, though not to an extent above 10 lbs at any given time, slipped, fallen, gotten frustrated, tried some crazy whacked out fads to quickly get back on track, you name it. But I kept at it. No matter what, I have come to realize that I'm not perfect. I will screw this up from time to time; but, all in all I have lost the weight I wanted to lose, reached a point I never thought I'd be at again, and regained a great amount of confidence. I'm happy, though I want to make sure that I continue to feel good with what I'm doing.
Which brings us to today... My lowest weight since I had gotten "back on track" the last time was 162. This was my weight a mere 2 weeks ago. Today, I weigh in at 168. But I feel like I'm back in the high 170s. My clothes are tight and I'm seeing the pudge on my sides and in front of me getting bigger and making itself more and more visible. To alleviate my pain, I plan on digging out my last weight lifting routine, finding a way to get in 5 days of cardio, 2 days of glutes, 2 days of abs. I also need to readjust my eating plans & do what I know I need to be doing. Most importantly, I have to stick to it. Last year at this time, I started packing on a couple spare lbs. I absolutely refuse to do that this year!
So stick with me as I embark on what is probably my millionth journey on getting and staying in shape. I'll be posting progress, thoughts & feelings, tips & tricks with nutrition & exercise.
Stay tuned!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Politics 101
I'm really more of a Constitutionalist than a Republican, but I'm registered as the latter so that I can vote in the primaries. If you asked me to lay the country's issues on a table, my vote for likeminded viewpoints would pull me toward the right side of that table, the conservative side. I would say that is true for me in most areas, but maybe not so much socially. Why, you ask? Well, I have no problem with homosexuals, those who want to legalize marijuana, don't conduct their lives and form opinions out of a single church, etc. What I do have a problem with is our country's attempt to condone a form of communism...socialism. Yes, I compared it to the big C. I do not apologize that I don't like the idea of our government being the "Robin Hood" of America. I think I should keep everything I work for. I think I shouldn't have to give others privileges that I don't have myself. I don't like the federal government telling me what to do, what I can't do. I want to be truly "free", but with local control to help regulate. We all know there are individuals around us who just aren't sensible. These include murderers, rapists, robbers, etc. We need to have a local force to help regulate, yes. But we need to have the right to defend ourselves as well. I do not appreciate dirty liberal hippies (haha, yes) taking from me what they do not earn themselves. Stop fighting for the "rights" that make no sense. Stop fighting for money that you didn't earn. Stop putting the environment above your neighbor and children that are in the here and now. Stop fighting to stop those who are defending your pansy asses!!!
Now, I remember being younger and having some viewpoints that were way more leaning towards the left. But I grew up. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said something like, "If you're not a liberal at 20, you're heartless. If you're not a conservative at 40, you have no brain." This speaks to me greatly. As we become adults and gain more responsibility, we start appreciating what it means to fend for ourselves, not to expect others to provide for us. Our worlds completely change and really...we become a little irritated with those who take what we work hard for. People have this huge misconception that the government pulls money from some tree in the back yard of the white house. Do you know how many people try to argue with me and say, "But you aren't paying for me, the government is" "?! Are you kidding me???? Where on earth do you think the government gets this money? Hello, TAXES!
Likewise, people pay too much attention to the media. Somehow, they have this conviluted idea that every single time our armed forces go to work, they are wasting our money. I'm not saying judgment passed isn't at very few times correct; however, where exactly do you think we'd be if these brave men and women weren't around to protect us? There is so much that the media doesn't spell out because they simply are not aware (thank God, or we'd be in even bigger trouble), so the uninformed American believes only what they hear. Be thankful that so much is going on behind the scenes to protect you.
On to the real topic... Stop blaming a party for a couple of "off their rocker" retards that put themselves in the limelight. Democrats vs Republicans is getting really old. Choose the person that most represents your viewpoints and shut up. Or, if you get really desperate and don't know who's name to pull out of the hat, vote for me. But I don't see how you can call yourselves "for the people" Americans when you feel so comfortable prejudging an entire party instead of realizing it's certain individuals that you have a problem with.
P.S. If you find me hypocritical at all with this post...I am. But I'm also right. The end.
Now, I remember being younger and having some viewpoints that were way more leaning towards the left. But I grew up. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said something like, "If you're not a liberal at 20, you're heartless. If you're not a conservative at 40, you have no brain." This speaks to me greatly. As we become adults and gain more responsibility, we start appreciating what it means to fend for ourselves, not to expect others to provide for us. Our worlds completely change and really...we become a little irritated with those who take what we work hard for. People have this huge misconception that the government pulls money from some tree in the back yard of the white house. Do you know how many people try to argue with me and say, "But you aren't paying for me, the government is" "?! Are you kidding me???? Where on earth do you think the government gets this money? Hello, TAXES!
Likewise, people pay too much attention to the media. Somehow, they have this conviluted idea that every single time our armed forces go to work, they are wasting our money. I'm not saying judgment passed isn't at very few times correct; however, where exactly do you think we'd be if these brave men and women weren't around to protect us? There is so much that the media doesn't spell out because they simply are not aware (thank God, or we'd be in even bigger trouble), so the uninformed American believes only what they hear. Be thankful that so much is going on behind the scenes to protect you.
On to the real topic... Stop blaming a party for a couple of "off their rocker" retards that put themselves in the limelight. Democrats vs Republicans is getting really old. Choose the person that most represents your viewpoints and shut up. Or, if you get really desperate and don't know who's name to pull out of the hat, vote for me. But I don't see how you can call yourselves "for the people" Americans when you feel so comfortable prejudging an entire party instead of realizing it's certain individuals that you have a problem with.
P.S. If you find me hypocritical at all with this post...I am. But I'm also right. The end.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Being Human
"There's no greater feeling than sprawling naked across the bed with the one you love." ~ Being Human
There's no greater feeling, indeed. Hands and hips, thighs and lips. No better way to feel human, be real..be in touch with yourself and the one you can't live without. But that is the reactionary half-sleep that comes as a result of the ultimate passionate sedative. It's the kind of thing that gives you a heightened sense of awareness for your own body as well as theirs without moving an inch. Scent, touch, sight... Hearts beating and pulsating life, a steady flow of bloody emotion; stomachs rising and falling, moving the two sweetest mounds of flesh one at a time as they take turns owning the space you share; hot skin under cool fingertips bringing comfort over every inch. And then the most seductive observation: eyes that see so deep inside of you, past all else, to know your wants and needs before even you do. These are the eyes that reign in your love, forcing you to focus on something far greater than your dreams have ever moved within you.
In between moments like these, as days separate you from this connection, the cracking and splintering is actually painful. You realize that this other living organism, this flawed individual is everything you need and want, but not quite until the experience of near loss of that soul affects your very core. Out of the corner of your mind's eye, you see the slender fingers that held your hand so tightly while you made love, softly while you walked through a parking lot in Jersey, sat on your knee while you talked incessantly. You see and feel the lips that you never want to go without, on your own lips, the corner of your mouth, your neck, your breasts, belly, legs... Could anyone ever let that slip away? Dizzy, dizzy head. Dizzy, dizzy love.
I'm really just sitting here dizzy while my heart, my mind, and my libido take a train ride through the scar tissue of this thing I'm calling love.
There's no greater feeling, indeed. Hands and hips, thighs and lips. No better way to feel human, be real..be in touch with yourself and the one you can't live without. But that is the reactionary half-sleep that comes as a result of the ultimate passionate sedative. It's the kind of thing that gives you a heightened sense of awareness for your own body as well as theirs without moving an inch. Scent, touch, sight... Hearts beating and pulsating life, a steady flow of bloody emotion; stomachs rising and falling, moving the two sweetest mounds of flesh one at a time as they take turns owning the space you share; hot skin under cool fingertips bringing comfort over every inch. And then the most seductive observation: eyes that see so deep inside of you, past all else, to know your wants and needs before even you do. These are the eyes that reign in your love, forcing you to focus on something far greater than your dreams have ever moved within you.
In between moments like these, as days separate you from this connection, the cracking and splintering is actually painful. You realize that this other living organism, this flawed individual is everything you need and want, but not quite until the experience of near loss of that soul affects your very core. Out of the corner of your mind's eye, you see the slender fingers that held your hand so tightly while you made love, softly while you walked through a parking lot in Jersey, sat on your knee while you talked incessantly. You see and feel the lips that you never want to go without, on your own lips, the corner of your mouth, your neck, your breasts, belly, legs... Could anyone ever let that slip away? Dizzy, dizzy head. Dizzy, dizzy love.
I'm really just sitting here dizzy while my heart, my mind, and my libido take a train ride through the scar tissue of this thing I'm calling love.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
"Last Kiss" ...
...by Seven Mary Three, the band of my teenage years. Heartbreak, hospitals, moving boxes, and family. That's what I remember most about the end of that era. The next decade (and a couple more years) flew by way too fast, but maybe for good reason. Yet as quick as that time left me in the dust, I've been left with many gifts from those days.
Right now, having moved on quite a bit, I sit here with a half clean house (I'm telling you, this is progress) and a heart full of love and a mind full of chaos. And, of course, I'm listening to Seven Mary Three. I know I had a discussion earlier this week with my loving mama that I didn't really want to have. Something triggered my emotional gag reflex and I spewed forth thoughts I've kept from her for a long time. I told her things that I've been telling my sister for quite some time, but she's different. Though she is certainly protective, I consider my sister rather objective. She listens to the good, the bad, and the ugly, but I feel she judges pretty fairly. If I'm being taken advantage of, she doesn't hesitate to force that to my attention. At the same time, she doesn't have a problem telling me when I'm being a complete ass and overreacting. Most importantly, when I need consoling, she's there to deal it out. My mama...for too long, she's played the role of mama and dad, meaning while she tries to listen and give me relationship advice, she also can be a hard-hearted protector. I'm afraid if I tell her something negative (and I try to tell all, not just the bad), she'll hold that grudge forever and treat the person I'm with unfairly. Don't get me wrong, as a mother I understand this completely. But the other night, I guess it had been building up too long and I let loose. So much, in fact, I don't even remember half of what I told her. It was something I needed, though.
I've been here before, but I've come to some conclusions about my current position and why I treat my relationship the way that I do. I have found myself being suspicious but not being able to justify those suspicions with actions or words. I have doubted when I should believe. And, I have grossly underestimated the power and, at the same time, the comfort this love is giving me. Why? None of us are perfect, but I think it is quite possibly my fault. If you don't agree because of a certain incident, please don't comment here. We'll talk, if you want. But I've decided I want to give my heart a chance and let the wall down a bit. I'm in love. I have to accept that this person is not the men of my past. I cannot hold him accountable for what others have done. I can't assume that I always make the wrong decisions with relationships and that I should live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think that's unfair...for both of us, really. I love and appreciate what I have. So, I'm going to concentrate on that; concentrate on him and my family (and my friends that are family). I want to keep things positive, and I truly believe this is the direction I need to go right now. It's very important to me.
In conclusion, I didn't want to put a single word of that in writing. But if I say it, it's real. The End...
Right now, having moved on quite a bit, I sit here with a half clean house (I'm telling you, this is progress) and a heart full of love and a mind full of chaos. And, of course, I'm listening to Seven Mary Three. I know I had a discussion earlier this week with my loving mama that I didn't really want to have. Something triggered my emotional gag reflex and I spewed forth thoughts I've kept from her for a long time. I told her things that I've been telling my sister for quite some time, but she's different. Though she is certainly protective, I consider my sister rather objective. She listens to the good, the bad, and the ugly, but I feel she judges pretty fairly. If I'm being taken advantage of, she doesn't hesitate to force that to my attention. At the same time, she doesn't have a problem telling me when I'm being a complete ass and overreacting. Most importantly, when I need consoling, she's there to deal it out. My mama...for too long, she's played the role of mama and dad, meaning while she tries to listen and give me relationship advice, she also can be a hard-hearted protector. I'm afraid if I tell her something negative (and I try to tell all, not just the bad), she'll hold that grudge forever and treat the person I'm with unfairly. Don't get me wrong, as a mother I understand this completely. But the other night, I guess it had been building up too long and I let loose. So much, in fact, I don't even remember half of what I told her. It was something I needed, though.
I've been here before, but I've come to some conclusions about my current position and why I treat my relationship the way that I do. I have found myself being suspicious but not being able to justify those suspicions with actions or words. I have doubted when I should believe. And, I have grossly underestimated the power and, at the same time, the comfort this love is giving me. Why? None of us are perfect, but I think it is quite possibly my fault. If you don't agree because of a certain incident, please don't comment here. We'll talk, if you want. But I've decided I want to give my heart a chance and let the wall down a bit. I'm in love. I have to accept that this person is not the men of my past. I cannot hold him accountable for what others have done. I can't assume that I always make the wrong decisions with relationships and that I should live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think that's unfair...for both of us, really. I love and appreciate what I have. So, I'm going to concentrate on that; concentrate on him and my family (and my friends that are family). I want to keep things positive, and I truly believe this is the direction I need to go right now. It's very important to me.
In conclusion, I didn't want to put a single word of that in writing. But if I say it, it's real. The End...
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