Well, Really...

I wanted to iterate the fact that I did not give up on my weekly meal plan, though my blogging on the topic was cut short. I simply got tired of writing it down twice. The rest of the week was very similar to the other days that I did write about. Nothing necessarily different.

Next...

My stress levels have skyrocketed to a nasty nasty point. Foolish people are getting on my nerves more than ever, and all of this is starting to take a physical toll. I'm pretty much ready to shut down. But! The kids really wanted to decorate and plan for our upcoming Halloween party, so I have that to look forward to. We all need something.

I don't go out anymore, but I seem to never be at home to concentrate on what I need to there, but I suppose that's what being a mom of active children is all about. It will all fall into place. I have to have priorities though. Mainly, vehicle has to come first. If anyone has some good ideas, please share them. I'm all ears. And I don't mean, Hey! Let me throw out some information to you and then drop off the face of the planet. That doesn't help anyone, especially you. Regardless, I am going solo this weekend to look at something that might work out in my favor. If it doesn't, do not tell me all of things you would have done differently or think it's wise to tell me I made a bad decision. Why? Well, really. Here's the deal. I am a single female who is proud of knowing a lot of things. If I wanted to add mechanics to my repertoire, I would. But gee wiz, I can't be a no-it-all. So I'm pretty much winging it because I have a deadline that my truck is personally giving me. It's called, do it now, or spend the winter stranded somewhere in Harrisburg. So, like I said. This weekend, I may have something in the works. Wish me luck, and we shall see.

Meal Plan - Day 5

Breakfast:
Yogurt
Rice Krispies
Herbal tea
Total - 106 calories/.1g fat/21g carbs/0g fiber/5.5g protein/135mg sodium

Snack:
1 cup dry Krave cereal
Coffee
Creamer
Total - 197 calories/5g fat/37g carbs/4g fiber/3g protein/132 mg sodium

Lunch:
2 slices light oatmeal bread
2 Tbsp Jif peanut butter
Total - 280 calories/16g fat/25g carbs/4g fiber/12g protein/220mg sodium

Snack:
2 Hershey's miniatures
Total - 84 calories/5g fat/10g carbs/1g fiber/1g protein/22mg sodium

Dinner:
Sweet potato
1 can tuna
Total - 250 calories/1.2g fat/24g carbs/4g fiber/28g protein/481mg sodium

Snack:
1 cups pineapple chunks
Total - 82 calories/.2g fat/22g carbs/2g fiber/1g protein/2mg sodium

Daily Totals:
1,009 calories/27.5g fat/139g carbs/15g fiber/50.5g protein/992mg sodium

Meal Plan - Day 4

A little behind on posting, but here is my day 4 (Tuesday).

Breakfast:
Oatmeal
Herbal Tea
Total - 130 calories/2g fat/26g carbs/2g fiber/3g protein/150mg sodium

Snack:
1 cup dry Krave cereal
Total - 160 calories/5g fat/31g carbs/4g fiber/3g protein/127mg sodium

Lunch:
Thai Tomato Coconut soup
Total - 200 calories/9g fat/28g carbs/3g fiber/2g protein/660mg sodium

Snack:
Almonds
Total - 100 calories/9g fat/4g carbs/2g fiber/4g protein/0mg sodium

Dinner:
Chicken Breast
2 cups green beans
Total - 164 calories/4g fat/6g carbs/2g fiber/22g protein/767mg sodium

Snack:
Pretzels
Light string cheese
Total - 160 calories/2.5g fat/26g carbs/0g fiber/9g protein/400mg sodium

Daily Totals:
914 calories/31.5g fat/121g carbs/13g fiber/43g protein/2,104mg sodium

Meal Plan - Day 3

Alrighty then...

Breakfast:
Hard boiled egg
Toasted coconut vanilla yogurt
1 slice oatmeal toast
Herbal tea
Totals - 195 calories/4g fat/25g carbs/1g fiber/13g protein/225mg sodium

Snack:
Coffee
Creamer
2 Hershey's minis
Totals - 121 calories/5g fat/16g carbs/1g fiber/1g protein/27mg sodium

Lunch:
Hard boiled egg
1 can tuna
Light mayo
Totals: 205 calories/6g fat/3g carbs/0g fiber/32g protein/635mg sodium

Snack:
White miso soup
Totals - 45 calories/1.5g fat/5g carbs/1g fiber/3g protein/910mg sodium

Dinner:
Thai tomato coconut soup
Reduced fat wheat thins
Totals - 230 calories/12.5g fat/50g carbs/5g fiber/4g protein/890mg sodium

Snack:
Banana
Totals - 105 calories/.4g fat/27g carbs/3g fiber/1g protein/1mg sodium

Daily Totals:
901 calories/29.4g fat/126g carbs/11g fiber/54g protein/2,688 sodium

Meal Plan - Day 2

I'll write my food plan for today, but I have to say that even though I'm writing this stuff down at home I'm already getting bored with it here. Even so, this serves a purpose. Note that I made a substitution for lunch & afternoon snack because of football. For lunch, I had homemade Stromboli made with whole grain crust, fat free mozzarella cheese, 97% fat free ham, pepperoni, pineapple, green pepper, white onion. Not too shabby. My snack substitute was not so healthy since I felt obliged to try one of my awesome cookies. On a positive note, the boys loved them too after a rough game & I shared my stromboli with the rest of the defectors. :)

Breakfast:
1 cup Krave cereal
1/2 cup skim milk
Herbal tea
Totals - 200 calories/5g fat/43g carbs/4g fiber/11g protein/257mg sodium

Snack:
Hard boiled egg
Totals - 70 calories/4g fat/1g carbs/0g fiber/6g protein/65mg sodium

Lunch:
Thai Tomato Coconut soup
Totals - 200 calories/9g fat/28g carbs/3g fiber/2g protein/660mg sodium

Snack:
Banana
Totals - 105 calories/.4g fat/27g carbs/3g fiber/1g protein/1g sodium

Dinner:
Salad mix
Chicken breast
Light Italian dressing
Totals - 169 calories/5.5g fat/6g carbs/2g fiber/23g protein/637mg sodium

Snack:
Almonds
Totals - 100 calories/9g fat/4g carbs/2g fiber/4g protein/0mg sodium

Daily totals:
844 calories/32.9g fat/109 carbs/12g fiber/47g protein/1,620mg sodium

Meal Plan - Day 1:

These are approximate totals. For my current height, body weight, goals, etc. I'm allowed to have a maximum of approx. 1100 calories a day. With this exercise, I'm writing everything down but paying close attention to calories and protein as I've done in the past. In addition, add drinking as much water as possible. I word it that way because sometimes it's hard for me to get I the correct amount in a day. I'm lucky of I can simply because I go through phases when I just don't want it.

Breakfast:
1 hard boiled egg
1 package yogurt
1 slice light oatmeal toast
Herbal tea
Totals - 195 calories/4g fat/25 carbs/1g fiber/13g protein/225mg sodium

Snack:
Coconut water
Totals - 60 calories/0g fat/15g carbs/0g fiber/0g protein/40mg sodium

Lunch:
2 cups salad mix
1 can tuna
1 tbsp rice vinegar
Totals - 155 calories/1g fat/8g carbs/2g fiber/27g protein/810mg sodium

Snack:
White miso soup
Totals - 45 calories/1.5g fat/5g carbs/1g fiber/3g protein/910mg sodium

Dinner:
Tilapia
While grain brown rice
2 cups green beans
Totals - 340 calories/5g fat/45g carbs/5g fiber/30g protein/620mg sodium

Snack:
Light string cheese
Totals - 50 calories/2.5g fat/1g carbs/0g fiber/6g protein/150mg sodium

Daily Totals:
845 calories/14g fat/99g carbs/9g fiber/79g protein/2,755mg sodium

The Journey of My Body - Day 1:

Well, it's more like day 1,000,000 but there is always another day 1 when you're trying to get back on track.  For the last 4 years (approximately), I gave up dieting and started losing weight.  What I mean by this is taking the mean approach to simply eating right and exercising.  To date, I have lost 115 lbs.  Sounds smooth sailing, right?  Ha!  Not a chance.  I have backtracked, though not to an extent above 10 lbs at any given time, slipped, fallen, gotten frustrated, tried some crazy whacked out fads to quickly get back on track, you name it.  But I kept at it.  No matter what, I have come to realize that I'm not perfect.  I will screw this up from time to time; but, all in all I have lost the weight I wanted to lose, reached a point I never thought I'd be at again, and regained a great amount of confidence.  I'm happy, though I want to make sure that I continue to feel good with what I'm doing.

Which brings us to today... My lowest weight since I had gotten "back on track" the last time was 162.  This was my weight a mere 2 weeks ago.  Today, I weigh in at 168.  But I feel like I'm back in the high 170s.  My clothes are tight and I'm seeing the pudge on my sides and in front of me getting bigger and making itself more and more visible. To alleviate my pain, I plan on digging out my last weight lifting routine, finding a way to get in 5 days of cardio, 2 days of glutes, 2 days of abs. I also need to readjust my eating plans & do what I know I need to be doing. Most importantly, I have to stick to it. Last year at this time, I started packing on a couple spare lbs. I absolutely refuse to do that this year!

So stick with me as I embark on what is probably my millionth journey on getting and staying in shape. I'll be posting progress, thoughts & feelings, tips & tricks with nutrition & exercise.

Stay tuned!

Politics 101

I'm really more of a Constitutionalist than a Republican, but I'm registered as the latter so that I can vote in the primaries.  If you asked me to lay the country's issues on a table, my vote for likeminded viewpoints would pull me toward the right side of that table, the conservative side.  I would say that is true for me in most areas, but maybe not so much socially.  Why, you ask?  Well, I have no problem with homosexuals, those who want to legalize marijuana, don't conduct their lives and form opinions out of a single church, etc.  What I do have a problem with is our country's attempt to condone a form of communism...socialism.  Yes, I compared it to the big C.  I do not apologize that I don't like the idea of our government being the "Robin Hood" of America.  I think I should keep everything I work for.  I think I shouldn't have to give others privileges that I don't have myself.  I don't like the federal government telling me what to do, what I can't do.  I want to be truly "free", but with local control to help regulate.  We all know there are individuals around us who just aren't sensible.  These include murderers, rapists, robbers, etc.  We need to have a local force to help regulate, yes.  But we need to have the right to defend ourselves as well.  I do not appreciate dirty liberal hippies (haha, yes) taking from me what they do not earn themselves.  Stop fighting for the "rights" that make no sense.  Stop fighting for money that you didn't earn.  Stop putting the environment above your neighbor and children that are in the here and now.  Stop fighting to stop those who are defending your pansy asses!!!

Now, I remember being younger and having some viewpoints that were way more leaning towards the left.  But I grew up.  I believe it was Winston Churchill who said something like, "If you're not a liberal at 20, you're heartless.  If you're not a conservative at 40, you have no brain."  This speaks to me greatly.  As we become adults and gain more responsibility, we start appreciating what it means to fend for ourselves, not to expect others to provide for us.  Our worlds completely change and really...we become a little irritated with those who take what we work hard for.  People have this huge misconception that the government pulls money from some tree in the back yard of the white house.  Do you know how many people try to argue with me and say, "But you aren't paying for me, the government is" "?!  Are you kidding me????  Where on earth do you think the government gets this money?  Hello, TAXES! 

Likewise, people pay too much attention to the media.  Somehow, they have this conviluted idea that every single time our armed forces go to work, they are wasting our money.  I'm not saying judgment passed isn't at very few times correct; however, where exactly do you think we'd be if these brave men and women weren't around to protect us?  There is so much that the media doesn't spell out because they simply are not aware (thank God, or we'd be in even bigger trouble), so the uninformed American believes only what they hear.  Be thankful that so much is going on behind the scenes to protect you. 

On to the real topic... Stop blaming a party for a couple of "off their rocker" retards that put themselves in the limelight.  Democrats vs Republicans is getting really old.  Choose the person that most represents your viewpoints and shut up.  Or, if you get really desperate and don't know who's name to pull out of the hat, vote for me.  But I don't see how you can call yourselves "for the people" Americans when you feel so comfortable prejudging an entire party instead of realizing it's certain individuals that you have a problem with. 

P.S.  If you find me hypocritical at all with this post...I am.  But I'm also right.  The end.

Being Human

"There's no greater feeling than sprawling naked across the bed with the one you love." ~ Being Human

There's no greater feeling, indeed. Hands and hips, thighs and lips. No better way to feel human, be real..be in touch with yourself and the one you can't live without. But that is the reactionary half-sleep that comes as a result of the ultimate passionate sedative. It's the kind of thing that gives you a heightened sense of awareness for your own body as well as theirs without moving an inch. Scent, touch, sight... Hearts beating and pulsating life, a steady flow of bloody emotion; stomachs rising and falling, moving the two sweetest mounds of flesh one at a time as they take turns owning the space you share; hot skin under cool fingertips bringing comfort over every inch. And then the most seductive observation: eyes that see so deep inside of you, past all else, to know your wants and needs before even you do. These are the eyes that reign in your love, forcing you to focus on something far greater than your dreams have ever moved within you.

In between moments like these, as days separate you from this connection, the cracking and splintering is actually painful. You realize that this other living organism, this flawed individual is everything you need and want, but not quite until the experience of near loss of that soul affects your very core. Out of the corner of your mind's eye, you see the slender fingers that held your hand so tightly while you made love, softly while you walked through a parking lot in Jersey, sat on your knee while you talked incessantly. You see and feel the lips that you never want to go without, on your own lips, the corner of your mouth, your neck, your breasts, belly, legs... Could anyone ever let that slip away? Dizzy, dizzy head. Dizzy, dizzy love.

I'm really just sitting here dizzy while my heart, my mind, and my libido take a train ride through the scar tissue of this thing I'm calling love.

"Last Kiss" ...

...by Seven Mary Three, the band of my teenage years.  Heartbreak, hospitals, moving boxes, and family.  That's what I remember most about the end of that era.  The next decade (and a couple more years) flew by way too fast, but maybe for good reason.  Yet as quick as that time left me in the dust, I've been left with many gifts from those days.

Right now, having moved on quite a bit, I sit here with a half clean house (I'm telling you, this is progress) and a heart full of love and a mind full of chaos.  And, of course, I'm listening to Seven Mary Three.  I know I had a discussion earlier this week with my loving mama that I didn't really want to have.  Something triggered my emotional gag reflex and I spewed forth thoughts I've kept from her for a long time.  I told her things that I've been telling my sister for quite some time, but she's different.  Though she is certainly protective, I consider my sister rather objective.  She listens to the good, the bad, and the ugly, but I feel she judges pretty fairly.  If I'm being taken advantage of, she doesn't hesitate to force that to my attention.  At the same time, she doesn't have a problem telling me when I'm being a complete ass and overreacting.  Most importantly, when I need consoling, she's there to deal it out.  My mama...for too long, she's played the role of mama and dad, meaning while she tries to listen and give me relationship advice, she also can be a hard-hearted protector.  I'm afraid if I tell her something negative (and I try to tell all, not just the bad), she'll hold that grudge forever and treat the person I'm with unfairly.  Don't get me wrong, as a mother I understand this completely.  But the other night, I guess it had been building up too long and I let loose.  So much, in fact, I don't even remember half of what I told her.  It was something I needed, though.

I've been here before, but I've come to some conclusions about my current position and why I treat my relationship the way that I do.  I have found myself being suspicious but not being able to justify those suspicions with actions or words.  I have doubted when I should believe.  And, I have grossly underestimated the power and, at the same time, the comfort this love is giving me.  Why?  None of us are perfect, but I think it is quite possibly my fault.  If you don't agree because of a certain incident, please don't comment here.  We'll talk, if you want.  But I've decided I want to give my heart a chance and let the wall down a bit.  I'm in love.  I have to accept that this person is not the men of my past.  I cannot hold him accountable for what others have done.  I can't assume that I always make the wrong decisions with relationships and that I should live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I think that's unfair...for both of us, really.  I love and appreciate what I have.  So, I'm going to concentrate on that; concentrate on him and my family (and my friends that are family).  I want to keep things positive, and I truly believe this is the direction I need to go right now.  It's very important to me.

In conclusion, I didn't want to put a single word of that in writing.  But if I say it, it's real.  The End...