I have paid a lot of attention to my sleeping patterns over the duration of the past year. I began, not so much monitoring, but taking an interest in said sleeping patterns around November of 2008. This would be about the time that I told N that I was leaving. I was stressed, sure. I was thinking non-stop, worrying, contemplating, etc. I also began sleeping on the couch down in the basement/t.v. room. A change of sleeping environment certainly made changes in my sleeping habits. But I began to have a mad bout of insomnia, which didn't really seem to end until a couple of weeks ago. Did I ever sleep? Sure, but I would take a 'cat nap' for an hour or two and then wake up early in the night, remaining awake until 3 or 4 in the morning, only to get up and move about around 6:30 to start my day. I think it might have taken a bit of a toll at first as I was getting sick often. Basically, combine lack of sleep, lack of appetite (very poor eating habits), and a complete disregard for my own well-being, you pretty much have to wonder when the collapse will occur. But there was no cure. I don't take medications to help with these things. In fact, there are very few medications that I will take at all, and only by great necessity, after 1999. Regardless, I figured that the only way to help my sleeplessness was to cure the cause of it. Certainly makes sense, but it was a lot harder than I thought. Actually, so hard that I never did figure out how to do it. It just kind of happened on its own from outside factors. But...what I will say is this. Throughout those many, many months of open eyes and working brain, I must deeply and sincerely thank the friends of mine that saw fit to entertain me when they could during those hours. I'm pretty sure that helped me through a lot and, while I had my bad moments that you've also helped me get through, those hours were when I needed you the most. So, forever in your debt, though you may not have realized that you were helping me at the time.
So what has changed? I guess the new relationship. Though, I'm finding great difficulty in believing that something such as that can affect the way that I sleep. But I have been sleeping a hell of a lot. So much, in fact, that it's become a running joke that T comes over and half the time ends up just watching me sleep. But damn if I can help it. I started to think about why this might be. To start, I'm comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that I think of being near him and I feel this pleasant feeling of sleepiness like someone is softly closing my eyes for me. It makes me want to take a nap no matter where I am or when. Kind of weirding me out, actually, because I've never experienced that before. So, being comfortable is one thing. Also to be noted that with this sense of comfort, I have gained 4 lbs. Not good! After panicking about this, I decided that the indulgences of comfort end there. I WILL NOT BACKTRACK!!!!! Anyway, there's certainly something to be said for comfort. My other thought is that I do not have time to worry about inane, trivial things right now; however, certain individuals like to keep the drama rolling and I'm finding that I'm stressed all the time. Yet, at the same time, I'm happy. But I'll remark on that later. The point is that it might be a bodily 'shut-down' method. And thirdly, I was wondering if there isn't truth in that lack of sleep will definitely catch up to you. If this be the case, look out. You might as well watch me hibernate this whole winter because I have a lot of catching up to do. And maybe that's why I'm gaining weight. Maybe I'm beginning to store fat for my hibernation.
Now, on to the interesting side effects of sleep deprivation and revival. The other night, we were watching From Hell in my living room. I really like that movie, though I occasionally get grossed out by some details as my stomach weakens with age. Anyway, right after the third murder, I must have drifted off. During that time, I actually dreamt. While I am no sleep expert, this baffled me a bit because I thought dreams only came near the final stage of sleep. So, it's kind of like I have been sleeping, but mobile and slightly alert during my waking hours, maybe sleep walking. I don't know. But I had a weird dream, none the less. I was at my friend Tiffany's house, though it wasn't really her house. You know how that goes. All of the rooms that I went into but one was very similarly decorated as those in her real house; she has very elegant tastes. The unique room was less formal, had a small t.v., a couch, a bed, etc. It was to be the room I was going to stay in during my visit. After close attention was paid to the details of this home, the dream shifted.
Now I was being routed through a very old home by a group of men that were researching and helping families with paranormal activity in their homes. There were several rooms that were affected, but I was to help in the basement. The "ghost" that resided down there was known to fly a plastic helicopter through the room. Sure enough, when I was down there, an army green plastic helicopter was flown right in front of my face. The body of the helicopter was built more like a cage; in other words, it wasn't solid, but just strips of meshed plastic large enough to stick your fingers in. And the plastic pilot was very visibly orange. Once I grabbed the details of that helicopter, the dream was over. The movie had ended.
So, I sat up and tried to have a conversation with T (after turning the dvd player off, of course. i think the music being played during the idle part of the disc is more haunting than the whole movie.). In the middle of the conversation, I must have started to drift off? I don't know. But I was envisionioning Muslims praying. It felt like I was actually there. Oddly, since I am particularly religiously and culturally tolerant, I made the following half-comment, "Those nutjobs in the east..." I snapped out of it when T, said, "What? What did you just say?" I could only look at him, baffled, and told him that I didn't say anything.
In conclusion, sleep, or lack thereof, makes us do/say some really weird things. I'm concerned about my sleeping habits and I'm irritated that all I want to do right now is sleep. What does it all really mean?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Hiero Anyone?
This is long overdue, but I still have great need of describing the events that took place, Sept. 5th. What a night! But where to begin? I suppose we'll start at the beginning of the night's time line to keep it all straight.
Before the Show:
Briefly, I wanted to say how funny it is that D and I experienced so many "signs" on the way to see this show. They were those little signs that are relevant to the topic you have stuck in your head at the moment, if you know what I mean. The best example was when D and I had just exchanged words concerning my non-believer status, one of us then said Jesus Christ or something to that effect, and lo and behold...there's a monk standing directly (and oddly, very nonchalantly) in front of Pravada (sp?)
The Show:
First and foremost, if you've never heard me speak of the greatness that I feel the band, Hierosonic, displays...well, you haven't been listening to me much, have you? Phenomenal musicians. They are currently on the local level, but they tour when they can (like right now) and have a couple of albums out. The newest, Kymatica, also shares the name of a documentary created by the singer, Ben Stewart. Do check it out. For a snippet, see part 1 here: Kymatica: Part 1. A lot of it is on there, but you can purchase and enjoy the whole thing along with it's awesome packaging from Hierosonic themselves. I believe they're $10, same as the CD (also a must have), but don't quote me on that. If you'd like one, let me know.
Anyway, the show was at The Dragonfly in Harrisburg. This, if you know of my normal haunts, is not a place that I frequent. I have a couple of reasons for my not so great opinion of it, ranging from the fact that it's on 2nd St. to the way the place is run and the money is handled, to the personality of the owner (which I had the privilege of experiencing due to Nick's show booking). Anyway, I felt I made a huge exception by going there, but I would do it again any day to see Hierosonic. That's how much I love them. I brought along my very fantastic friend, Danielle (D), in hopes that a new Hierosonic fan would be born. If nothing else, I knew that she would be be great company during such a great show. It also must be mentioned that prior to entering the venue, I managed to embarrass us at least 3 times. One of which occurred when Mike Stang and I were exchanging greetings. I was looking at him to my right and walking forward. And then...I tripped. What is it about that man that makes it impossible for me to walk right??? That's the 2nd time I've done that!
Once inside, D and I immediately grabbed a drink and then headed straight for the stools for a spot to rest our bones before the show and to, um, text. If you don't do things like that, you're seriously in denial. Now, understand that I most certainly do not text in the middle of sets unless it is it to tell a friend how f'ing awesome the band is. Why? I feel such great emotion during that time that I must share it with someone I feel will appreciate it. Or at least I want to share it with a person that might actually take the time to look up the band if they've never heard of them before and maybe give them a listen. In other words, we end up sharing more than just my sentiments about the band and/or the set at that given moment. Ya know. While sitting, texting, and chatting with D, I happened to spy someone on the right using my ever so developed peripheral vision. All I saw was this: an older guy wearing royal blue baseball shorts and a bright red Phillies baseball jersey. My first thought was, whoa is this guy out of place. What in the world? But my curiosity caused me to turn my head away from my phone to get a better view of this gentleman that certainly caught my attention. And whadda ya know? It's Mr. W., my boss' boss (essentially, my boss). I decided within the next couple of seconds that I had 2 choices. I could pretend I didn't see him and if we met up, we met up; or, I could get his attention now and get it over with. Note that had I not, I figured that gossip would ensue the next day concerning how I was out and about at this wild concert. You know how these things go. So, I waited until he looked in my direction so I could make eye contact. When we did, I yelled over to him. By that time, his wife was by his side, so they both strolled over to where D and I had rooted ourselves at that moment. Of course, we exchanged our "What are you doing here?" stuff, he introduced me to his wife, I introduced them both to D, his wife and I chatted, etc. Apparently, the reason they were there was because the week before, they had been to a bar that was hosting kareoke night, and good ole Aaron Miller of A Public Betrayal (APB) was there singing. Aaron had convinced my boss and his wife to come out and see them play at the Hierosonic show. Quite a feat, Aaron, quite a feat. And I will commend you on the fact that you had them pretty much at hello. Your personality completely won them over.
Anywho, on with the show. My Inner Animal were first to take the stage (I was standing up front at this point, btw.) As usual, their stage performance was fantastic. I know I've said this before, but if you pick up their album, please do not judge them by that. While the cd doesn't represent them as being bad, it represents them as being very 1 dimensional, very flat. I don't consider myself the harshest music critic ever, but WOW is there a huge difference. Regardless, they were a great way to start the musical festivities. I highly recommend that if you see their name on a lineup, you check them out.
2nd up was a form of APB. Apparently, the drummer was missing due to his girlfriend's car accident. It must be said here that the injuries were very non serious, so all was well (at least that's the report I received as this group of people like to make sure we all know what's going on at all times). So, while it wasn't full band, it was still very nice. They are yet another wonderful and extremely talented group of musicians that I would recommend to anyone and definitely ones that I'm keeping my eye on so that I can see them more. I've yet to be disappointed by any project that Aaron Miller has been a part of. As always, feel free to join me to any of these shows.
Hierosonic...I really shouldn't have to say much more because I've probably said it all within the last several Hierosonic related posts. However, I was more than blown away by this performance. I, unfortunately, was standing directly in front of a speaker, but that was only an issue the next day when I couldn't hear a damn thing except the incessant ringing that I couldn't figure out how to rid myself of. But during this particular set, I felt more emotion brought on by, not just the quality of the music and the talent of the musicians but, the passion that they stirred into their musical creations, the way they actually felt every note that came from their instruments and reacted thus with their bodies. It was incredibly intense for me. The best I can say is that I urge you to see them, be it with me, with someone else of your choosing, or by yourself. I feel wrong knowing that this feeling has not been shared with many of the people I love and care about. I hope to remedy that.
After the Show:
At this point, I had to adamently and repeatedly refuse a ride home from someone so that D and I could continue our journey. At one point, D turned and stated point blank, "If at any point A needs a ride home, it will be me driving her van." To which she turned on her heels and continued down 2nd street. Our destination? McGrath's. Let me tell you, while I would have gone anywhere she asked me to as D has nobly proven herself to be a friend like no other, our stay at McGrath's was painful to say the least. I won't go into detail on this as it really is not my detail to give. But that was where we ended up, though not for long. After a short stay there, we decided it was time to head home. I do want to note that it wasn't McGrath's that was the problem. It seems to be a nice establishment.
After retrieving the van from the parking garage, we had to fight our way through a very crowded 2nd street. Right in front of The Dragonfly, we came to a stop because of traffic at the light. As we were in the far left lane, we were the closest to the scene of 3 individuals in a fist fight. One had a terribly bloody nose, but he was still swinging. D said, "A, we really shouldn't be here right now. We need to go." While I certainly agreed, I had to point out that there was nowhere for us to go. We were boxed in from all sides. People were even filing through the street now to watch the spectacle. More cell phones were out than you could probably imagine to catch the fight either via picture or video. One particular guy was standing so close to my van, that he was about to get hit with my side mirror as we were gliding forward. I tried to get his attention by saying, "Dude. I'm going to hit you with my mirror. You might want to move." But I must not have said it loud enough. Plus he was very taken by the fight scene and probably wouldn't have heard me anyway. So...I hit him with my side mirror. He just turned around and looked at me. My response was, "Sorry about that. You were a little too close." He just laughed and apologized to me and said that he just couldn't help but try to get the fight on video and that he'd be putting it up on youtube if we wanted to look it up. I did, by the way, and I can't find anything.
We made it out of that mess though, and D kindly serenaded me to Miley Cyrus on the way home. I must say that was incredibly hilarious. It was one of those moments that you wish you had gotten it on video, but totally missed your opportunity. Oh well...
Before the Show:
Briefly, I wanted to say how funny it is that D and I experienced so many "signs" on the way to see this show. They were those little signs that are relevant to the topic you have stuck in your head at the moment, if you know what I mean. The best example was when D and I had just exchanged words concerning my non-believer status, one of us then said Jesus Christ or something to that effect, and lo and behold...there's a monk standing directly (and oddly, very nonchalantly) in front of Pravada (sp?)
The Show:
First and foremost, if you've never heard me speak of the greatness that I feel the band, Hierosonic, displays...well, you haven't been listening to me much, have you? Phenomenal musicians. They are currently on the local level, but they tour when they can (like right now) and have a couple of albums out. The newest, Kymatica, also shares the name of a documentary created by the singer, Ben Stewart. Do check it out. For a snippet, see part 1 here: Kymatica: Part 1. A lot of it is on there, but you can purchase and enjoy the whole thing along with it's awesome packaging from Hierosonic themselves. I believe they're $10, same as the CD (also a must have), but don't quote me on that. If you'd like one, let me know.
Anyway, the show was at The Dragonfly in Harrisburg. This, if you know of my normal haunts, is not a place that I frequent. I have a couple of reasons for my not so great opinion of it, ranging from the fact that it's on 2nd St. to the way the place is run and the money is handled, to the personality of the owner (which I had the privilege of experiencing due to Nick's show booking). Anyway, I felt I made a huge exception by going there, but I would do it again any day to see Hierosonic. That's how much I love them. I brought along my very fantastic friend, Danielle (D), in hopes that a new Hierosonic fan would be born. If nothing else, I knew that she would be be great company during such a great show. It also must be mentioned that prior to entering the venue, I managed to embarrass us at least 3 times. One of which occurred when Mike Stang and I were exchanging greetings. I was looking at him to my right and walking forward. And then...I tripped. What is it about that man that makes it impossible for me to walk right??? That's the 2nd time I've done that!
Once inside, D and I immediately grabbed a drink and then headed straight for the stools for a spot to rest our bones before the show and to, um, text. If you don't do things like that, you're seriously in denial. Now, understand that I most certainly do not text in the middle of sets unless it is it to tell a friend how f'ing awesome the band is. Why? I feel such great emotion during that time that I must share it with someone I feel will appreciate it. Or at least I want to share it with a person that might actually take the time to look up the band if they've never heard of them before and maybe give them a listen. In other words, we end up sharing more than just my sentiments about the band and/or the set at that given moment. Ya know. While sitting, texting, and chatting with D, I happened to spy someone on the right using my ever so developed peripheral vision. All I saw was this: an older guy wearing royal blue baseball shorts and a bright red Phillies baseball jersey. My first thought was, whoa is this guy out of place. What in the world? But my curiosity caused me to turn my head away from my phone to get a better view of this gentleman that certainly caught my attention. And whadda ya know? It's Mr. W., my boss' boss (essentially, my boss). I decided within the next couple of seconds that I had 2 choices. I could pretend I didn't see him and if we met up, we met up; or, I could get his attention now and get it over with. Note that had I not, I figured that gossip would ensue the next day concerning how I was out and about at this wild concert. You know how these things go. So, I waited until he looked in my direction so I could make eye contact. When we did, I yelled over to him. By that time, his wife was by his side, so they both strolled over to where D and I had rooted ourselves at that moment. Of course, we exchanged our "What are you doing here?" stuff, he introduced me to his wife, I introduced them both to D, his wife and I chatted, etc. Apparently, the reason they were there was because the week before, they had been to a bar that was hosting kareoke night, and good ole Aaron Miller of A Public Betrayal (APB) was there singing. Aaron had convinced my boss and his wife to come out and see them play at the Hierosonic show. Quite a feat, Aaron, quite a feat. And I will commend you on the fact that you had them pretty much at hello. Your personality completely won them over.
Anywho, on with the show. My Inner Animal were first to take the stage (I was standing up front at this point, btw.) As usual, their stage performance was fantastic. I know I've said this before, but if you pick up their album, please do not judge them by that. While the cd doesn't represent them as being bad, it represents them as being very 1 dimensional, very flat. I don't consider myself the harshest music critic ever, but WOW is there a huge difference. Regardless, they were a great way to start the musical festivities. I highly recommend that if you see their name on a lineup, you check them out.
2nd up was a form of APB. Apparently, the drummer was missing due to his girlfriend's car accident. It must be said here that the injuries were very non serious, so all was well (at least that's the report I received as this group of people like to make sure we all know what's going on at all times). So, while it wasn't full band, it was still very nice. They are yet another wonderful and extremely talented group of musicians that I would recommend to anyone and definitely ones that I'm keeping my eye on so that I can see them more. I've yet to be disappointed by any project that Aaron Miller has been a part of. As always, feel free to join me to any of these shows.
Hierosonic...I really shouldn't have to say much more because I've probably said it all within the last several Hierosonic related posts. However, I was more than blown away by this performance. I, unfortunately, was standing directly in front of a speaker, but that was only an issue the next day when I couldn't hear a damn thing except the incessant ringing that I couldn't figure out how to rid myself of. But during this particular set, I felt more emotion brought on by, not just the quality of the music and the talent of the musicians but, the passion that they stirred into their musical creations, the way they actually felt every note that came from their instruments and reacted thus with their bodies. It was incredibly intense for me. The best I can say is that I urge you to see them, be it with me, with someone else of your choosing, or by yourself. I feel wrong knowing that this feeling has not been shared with many of the people I love and care about. I hope to remedy that.
After the Show:
At this point, I had to adamently and repeatedly refuse a ride home from someone so that D and I could continue our journey. At one point, D turned and stated point blank, "If at any point A needs a ride home, it will be me driving her van." To which she turned on her heels and continued down 2nd street. Our destination? McGrath's. Let me tell you, while I would have gone anywhere she asked me to as D has nobly proven herself to be a friend like no other, our stay at McGrath's was painful to say the least. I won't go into detail on this as it really is not my detail to give. But that was where we ended up, though not for long. After a short stay there, we decided it was time to head home. I do want to note that it wasn't McGrath's that was the problem. It seems to be a nice establishment.
After retrieving the van from the parking garage, we had to fight our way through a very crowded 2nd street. Right in front of The Dragonfly, we came to a stop because of traffic at the light. As we were in the far left lane, we were the closest to the scene of 3 individuals in a fist fight. One had a terribly bloody nose, but he was still swinging. D said, "A, we really shouldn't be here right now. We need to go." While I certainly agreed, I had to point out that there was nowhere for us to go. We were boxed in from all sides. People were even filing through the street now to watch the spectacle. More cell phones were out than you could probably imagine to catch the fight either via picture or video. One particular guy was standing so close to my van, that he was about to get hit with my side mirror as we were gliding forward. I tried to get his attention by saying, "Dude. I'm going to hit you with my mirror. You might want to move." But I must not have said it loud enough. Plus he was very taken by the fight scene and probably wouldn't have heard me anyway. So...I hit him with my side mirror. He just turned around and looked at me. My response was, "Sorry about that. You were a little too close." He just laughed and apologized to me and said that he just couldn't help but try to get the fight on video and that he'd be putting it up on youtube if we wanted to look it up. I did, by the way, and I can't find anything.
We made it out of that mess though, and D kindly serenaded me to Miley Cyrus on the way home. I must say that was incredibly hilarious. It was one of those moments that you wish you had gotten it on video, but totally missed your opportunity. Oh well...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
This Is...The Story of a Girl
So, dear readers (or reader, whatever). I must apologize for my blogging absense. The fact that I feel the need to say that I'm sorry for not writing my thoughts in a public forum is a bit weird to me, but that's how I feel none the less. I missed my blogs, but I've sat down and attempted the first of about 3 that I need to catch you up on due to recent events, and I just haven't been able to get very far. Why? Well, it has something to do with the fact that my brain tends to get a bit overwhelmed and scattered at times (hence the name of this blog). And I'm sure my not-so-great eating habits and sleep patterns are not helping my ability to focus/concentrate. So, my goal with this particular entry is to give you a bit of an update on me. I have a couple of event blogs that need to happen, but they require remembering sequential moments, so I will have to get those out in due time...just not now. This will flow a bit easier and maybe answer some questions.
1) My weight. Why would I make this first? Well, for starters, I'm rather proud of my accomplishment thus far. Since November of last year, I have lost 48 lbs. I've been stagnant for the last couple of weeks, but I'm still working on it. I feel much better physically, mentally, and it will only continue to get better. I'd say I'd keep you updated on my progress with this, but that could get old real quick and I think you'd be happy just hearing me shout out the latest number if it's a significant difference. What is my goal? Well, if I went to my goal weight for my height, I'd have to lose another 88 lbs. Sorry if you're shocked by that number, but it's so true. And yes, I know that my build is not one that works well with my goal weight. I was 5 lbs over that in 8th grade and I looked incredibly frail and bony. But...I need to have a number goal. When I reach the point that I feel I look good, I'll stop regardless of what the number is. I just know right now I'm not ready to stop...not even close.
2) The new relationship. I am sorry if this came as a surprise to some. I wasn't really advertising it broadly for all of my friends until what we had could actually be defined into a term...a label. I don't like labeling and we certainly didn't need to for us. But when it comes time to let your friends know, it's a little difficult to say, "I have no idea what we are but we're something." Uh...right. So, we defined it. Anyway, a little detail... He's older than I am, 41 to be exact. Like me, he has three wonderful children, the oldest being 15, the youngest 8. Unlike me, he has his kids full time. Freaking out yet? Don't. I'm perfectly content with all of that; and we are at the same point in each of our lives, which gives me an oddly comfortable sense of home. However (there's always a however, a but, or something), I am pretty much scared to death. Why, you ask? I'm scared because I'm afraid of screwing it all up. I'm afraid that there's something wrong with me that causes me to hurt people. I truly wish things could be simple enough in a way that allows you to 'go with the flow' without questioning anything. That would be pretty much awesome. Suffice to say, no one's ever happy with my decisions; some wait on tenterhooks for the opportunity to say I told you so. They may very well get their chance, but I don't want it to be because of me. When I can look at our relationship in a way that only encompasses him, myself, and our kids, I am extremely happy. It would be nice if we could all be on the same page with that. I actually started this blog out with a bit of a different tone, and now because of my annoyance with those who term themselves 'friends', I have lost my appetite to blog about this right now.
In conclusion, those are the biggest 'me' updates. With an exception of trying to contain my irritation with those who choose not to be supportive or who can't seem to refrain from playing both sides of the field cruelly, I am happy, content, and feeling good. I hope all of you are too.
1) My weight. Why would I make this first? Well, for starters, I'm rather proud of my accomplishment thus far. Since November of last year, I have lost 48 lbs. I've been stagnant for the last couple of weeks, but I'm still working on it. I feel much better physically, mentally, and it will only continue to get better. I'd say I'd keep you updated on my progress with this, but that could get old real quick and I think you'd be happy just hearing me shout out the latest number if it's a significant difference. What is my goal? Well, if I went to my goal weight for my height, I'd have to lose another 88 lbs. Sorry if you're shocked by that number, but it's so true. And yes, I know that my build is not one that works well with my goal weight. I was 5 lbs over that in 8th grade and I looked incredibly frail and bony. But...I need to have a number goal. When I reach the point that I feel I look good, I'll stop regardless of what the number is. I just know right now I'm not ready to stop...not even close.
2) The new relationship. I am sorry if this came as a surprise to some. I wasn't really advertising it broadly for all of my friends until what we had could actually be defined into a term...a label. I don't like labeling and we certainly didn't need to for us. But when it comes time to let your friends know, it's a little difficult to say, "I have no idea what we are but we're something." Uh...right. So, we defined it. Anyway, a little detail... He's older than I am, 41 to be exact. Like me, he has three wonderful children, the oldest being 15, the youngest 8. Unlike me, he has his kids full time. Freaking out yet? Don't. I'm perfectly content with all of that; and we are at the same point in each of our lives, which gives me an oddly comfortable sense of home. However (there's always a however, a but, or something), I am pretty much scared to death. Why, you ask? I'm scared because I'm afraid of screwing it all up. I'm afraid that there's something wrong with me that causes me to hurt people. I truly wish things could be simple enough in a way that allows you to 'go with the flow' without questioning anything. That would be pretty much awesome. Suffice to say, no one's ever happy with my decisions; some wait on tenterhooks for the opportunity to say I told you so. They may very well get their chance, but I don't want it to be because of me. When I can look at our relationship in a way that only encompasses him, myself, and our kids, I am extremely happy. It would be nice if we could all be on the same page with that. I actually started this blog out with a bit of a different tone, and now because of my annoyance with those who term themselves 'friends', I have lost my appetite to blog about this right now.
In conclusion, those are the biggest 'me' updates. With an exception of trying to contain my irritation with those who choose not to be supportive or who can't seem to refrain from playing both sides of the field cruelly, I am happy, content, and feeling good. I hope all of you are too.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Oh, The Controversy
This is a blog that I wrote on myspace on 8/14/09. As it's something I've been discussing lately, I wanted to move it over here. You can't import from myspace at this time, but I'll move the comments over individually if requested. Anyway...
When in doubt, go with what everyone else says. Geez, people. Grow some balls here. I'm getting really irritated with the inundation of individuals who can't seem to think for themselves. Or rather, they can, but they're afraid to let everyone else know what their true feelings are. You know the sayings: 'There's 2 sides to every issue (right or left)' and 'There's 3 sides to every story (his side, her side, and the truth)' That last sentence isn't totally relevant, but this topic made me think of it so I threw it in here. However, something can be said about it in that clearly an issue or a topic should not have the bulk of our population sitting on one side. We need balance. This is why I am a Republican, but yet like the idea of our world's liberals just the same. Why? Because it's like yin and yang. It's necessary to create some sort of level happiness and justice in the world. This holds true for our government, in the workplace, as parents, and in relationships. It's a checks and balance system no matter where you place it. Good for the soul.
Now, back to some controversy. I'm going to list a couple of controversial topics that are either current events, or have just been discussed recently in my group of friends, along with my view on the issue. Please feel free to give your thoughts as well. Though, once I take a firm stand on an issue I don't typically back away from that view, but it wouldn't make sense for me not to hear other intelligent viewpoints.
First up is the obvious news of Michael Vic being taken on by the Philadelphia Eagles. In case you've been hiding under a rock the last couple of years, the issue is this. He served 23 months in prison for running a dog fighting operation. Now, we're all somewhat intelligent people and understand that dog fighting means horrible things happening to poor animals. I'm with everyone on that. But the fact that the man got hired back into the NFL should not be in question right now. Talk about your double standards. Think about it. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He screwed up. He paid the price, and hopefully learned a very valuable life lesson. Does that mean that he shouldn't be allowed to work ever again? What if we had a felony charge for something stupid we did? We'd never do it again, but should we be punished for life? I just don't think that's right. I did have a discussion last night about other players such as Cleveland Browns' Dante Stallworth. He was recently suspended from the NFL because of his conviction for DUI manslaughter. He is only to serve 30 days in prison, though he will be on house arrest for 2 years. So, some people are saying that's not enough. And why should someone who killed dogs (not even directly) receive a higher penalty than someone who killed a human being? Well, first of all, Stallworth didn't have PETA knocking down his door. Seriously. Do I think that Stallworth should serve a longer sentence? Actually, I do. But that's not where I'm going with this. The issue is whether or not these people should be allowed back in the NFL, not what deals their lawyers get them in the court room. Personally, I don't see an issue with it. To them, it's work. We all feel bad when the general everday person has a problem finding work due to a criminal past regardless of how reformed they are. So, why these people? My thought is the amount of money they make gets to people. Admittedly, that gets to me too when you think about the poverty in America, but if I had the skills to play a game that is publicly known to pay ridiculous sums of money, I would do it. So, I conclude that it's jealousy. Let them work. If you're upset at the team for taking him on, so be it. Be morally pissed at them. But give me a break. Also, this is just more reason why you should root for the better team anyway (Steelers). :)
Next in line is whether or not people who have physical and/or mental issues should be allowed to reproduce. It's possible I'm going to get my head cut off for this one, but here goes. There are exceptions to everything, so it's difficult for me to generalize and place people into a certain category here. But I sincerely believe that individuals who have severe issues should be sterilized. I'm not a medical expert, so I'm not going to list certain problems that should be included in the list of 'not to have kids' people. Though it might make more sense for me to give this scenario. If two people have so many medical/mental issues that they cannot hold down a full time job, must be supported by the government (tax payers), have over the top medical needs that cause them to not completely be able to take care of themselves properly 100% of the time, then what business do they have bringing children into this world? First of all, the risk of the child having similar issues has got to be pretty high. That alone is irresponsible because of the fact that you would knowingly be bringing a child into this world who's quality of life would be jeopardized. Yes, that child could very well turn out fine, but how would they take care of it? And the possibility of other family members maybe being able to step in is not good enough.
Now, some of you may be say, "April. You have three kids. That's a lot. What about your own financial situation? Isn't that similar?" Clearly, I've thought of this. Well, for one, I wasn't in this financial situation until now. I wasn't exactly in the best financial situation when I got pregnant with the twins, but I had the ability to remedy that and I did. Regardless of my financial situation, though, I'm still able to make sure my childrens' needs are met. I may not be able to buy them a new toy every time we go out, but I can live with that. Point is, I do want to have another child someday. However, considering where I am in life right now, it would be incredibly irresponsible. Should I be with someone and my financial situation looks different, then it can be considered. Until then, no. But that's a difference too. I have the ability to be responsible and control whether or not I actually GET pregnant. Can we say that for everyone? Clearly not, if we want to start looking at all the children born into poverty or addicted to drugs, or thrown in dumpsters, or (god help us) chopped up by samarai swords. So, I don't think this is a good comparison.
The point of this second topic, and the last as I've just now decided, is that we should not view having children as a right, but a priveledge. They are precious, most valuable, human beings and they should be brought into the world under the best conditions possible. That doesn't mean they all have to be born into the higher tax bracket, but their fragile lives are in our hands; they are so dependant upon us. We have to be sure that we can care for them not as best as we can, but as best as they deserve.
When in doubt, go with what everyone else says. Geez, people. Grow some balls here. I'm getting really irritated with the inundation of individuals who can't seem to think for themselves. Or rather, they can, but they're afraid to let everyone else know what their true feelings are. You know the sayings: 'There's 2 sides to every issue (right or left)' and 'There's 3 sides to every story (his side, her side, and the truth)' That last sentence isn't totally relevant, but this topic made me think of it so I threw it in here. However, something can be said about it in that clearly an issue or a topic should not have the bulk of our population sitting on one side. We need balance. This is why I am a Republican, but yet like the idea of our world's liberals just the same. Why? Because it's like yin and yang. It's necessary to create some sort of level happiness and justice in the world. This holds true for our government, in the workplace, as parents, and in relationships. It's a checks and balance system no matter where you place it. Good for the soul.
Now, back to some controversy. I'm going to list a couple of controversial topics that are either current events, or have just been discussed recently in my group of friends, along with my view on the issue. Please feel free to give your thoughts as well. Though, once I take a firm stand on an issue I don't typically back away from that view, but it wouldn't make sense for me not to hear other intelligent viewpoints.
First up is the obvious news of Michael Vic being taken on by the Philadelphia Eagles. In case you've been hiding under a rock the last couple of years, the issue is this. He served 23 months in prison for running a dog fighting operation. Now, we're all somewhat intelligent people and understand that dog fighting means horrible things happening to poor animals. I'm with everyone on that. But the fact that the man got hired back into the NFL should not be in question right now. Talk about your double standards. Think about it. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He screwed up. He paid the price, and hopefully learned a very valuable life lesson. Does that mean that he shouldn't be allowed to work ever again? What if we had a felony charge for something stupid we did? We'd never do it again, but should we be punished for life? I just don't think that's right. I did have a discussion last night about other players such as Cleveland Browns' Dante Stallworth. He was recently suspended from the NFL because of his conviction for DUI manslaughter. He is only to serve 30 days in prison, though he will be on house arrest for 2 years. So, some people are saying that's not enough. And why should someone who killed dogs (not even directly) receive a higher penalty than someone who killed a human being? Well, first of all, Stallworth didn't have PETA knocking down his door. Seriously. Do I think that Stallworth should serve a longer sentence? Actually, I do. But that's not where I'm going with this. The issue is whether or not these people should be allowed back in the NFL, not what deals their lawyers get them in the court room. Personally, I don't see an issue with it. To them, it's work. We all feel bad when the general everday person has a problem finding work due to a criminal past regardless of how reformed they are. So, why these people? My thought is the amount of money they make gets to people. Admittedly, that gets to me too when you think about the poverty in America, but if I had the skills to play a game that is publicly known to pay ridiculous sums of money, I would do it. So, I conclude that it's jealousy. Let them work. If you're upset at the team for taking him on, so be it. Be morally pissed at them. But give me a break. Also, this is just more reason why you should root for the better team anyway (Steelers). :)
Next in line is whether or not people who have physical and/or mental issues should be allowed to reproduce. It's possible I'm going to get my head cut off for this one, but here goes. There are exceptions to everything, so it's difficult for me to generalize and place people into a certain category here. But I sincerely believe that individuals who have severe issues should be sterilized. I'm not a medical expert, so I'm not going to list certain problems that should be included in the list of 'not to have kids' people. Though it might make more sense for me to give this scenario. If two people have so many medical/mental issues that they cannot hold down a full time job, must be supported by the government (tax payers), have over the top medical needs that cause them to not completely be able to take care of themselves properly 100% of the time, then what business do they have bringing children into this world? First of all, the risk of the child having similar issues has got to be pretty high. That alone is irresponsible because of the fact that you would knowingly be bringing a child into this world who's quality of life would be jeopardized. Yes, that child could very well turn out fine, but how would they take care of it? And the possibility of other family members maybe being able to step in is not good enough.
Now, some of you may be say, "April. You have three kids. That's a lot. What about your own financial situation? Isn't that similar?" Clearly, I've thought of this. Well, for one, I wasn't in this financial situation until now. I wasn't exactly in the best financial situation when I got pregnant with the twins, but I had the ability to remedy that and I did. Regardless of my financial situation, though, I'm still able to make sure my childrens' needs are met. I may not be able to buy them a new toy every time we go out, but I can live with that. Point is, I do want to have another child someday. However, considering where I am in life right now, it would be incredibly irresponsible. Should I be with someone and my financial situation looks different, then it can be considered. Until then, no. But that's a difference too. I have the ability to be responsible and control whether or not I actually GET pregnant. Can we say that for everyone? Clearly not, if we want to start looking at all the children born into poverty or addicted to drugs, or thrown in dumpsters, or (god help us) chopped up by samarai swords. So, I don't think this is a good comparison.
The point of this second topic, and the last as I've just now decided, is that we should not view having children as a right, but a priveledge. They are precious, most valuable, human beings and they should be brought into the world under the best conditions possible. That doesn't mean they all have to be born into the higher tax bracket, but their fragile lives are in our hands; they are so dependant upon us. We have to be sure that we can care for them not as best as we can, but as best as they deserve.
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