Money? Who needs money???

"Why do we let the one thing we don't have affect all the things we do have?" ~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) While I'm not a fabulous single woman living in Manhattan, I do tend to do this all the time. It's like I'm subconsciously trying to avoid happiness. Stressing over...well, just about anything is a good way to enable this.

Currently, I'm stressing over money. I'm extremely talented at making stupid decisions when it comes to spending it. And, as with all avenues of my life, I don't listen to anyone who tries to stop me. That's all about to change. I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes right now and saying, "Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it." Touche. You're probably right in your predictions of how things will go. However, I'm going to make an honest effort. This time around, I have some backup and support (not that I didn't have it before, but this is new) that I think I can make myself pay attention to. Nonetheless, I'm working on a serious budget, paying off my student loans, not going out to eat, not going to a lot of shows (or out in general), and not spending needlessly on things I feel somehow I deserve simply because I'm fabulous in Shiremanstown. The cool thing is, I'm pretty much done with Christmas shopping. Maybe one or two little things for people yet, but pretty much done. I actually look forward to wrapping them all this weekend.

What else am I going to tackle this weekend? Well, seeing as how not much "out of the house" type of action will be going on, I'm planning an attempt to clean my kids' room. There is so much junk in there, you can't see the floor and can't fully open their door. I'm a little scared, and I may need to call in backup. But I figure with some good music, a drink or two, and maybe some chit chat along the way and I'll be good. I doubt I'll get it all done, but I want to at least be able to get in there and put clothes away or change their bed sheets for them (note: they've had to do this themselves and it's not been pretty). If you all don't hear from me for awhile, you may want to come check on me. This WILL get ugly.

On that note, I look forward to some peace this weekend, getting my haircut (don't panic), and spending some time at home. Let's see how this goes.

Relation...whahhh???

Realizations can be like pin pricks to your tush, but they can be most beneficial.  For example, I realized the other night, as I was yet again delirious with fever, that the last 2 years of my life can be summed up in several episodes of Sex and the City (1 1/2 years can be thrown out of the equation). Instead of running down the street screaming in fear, I decided to embrace the fact and run WITH it. My life is my life and I love learning from it...just never at the moment that it's happening. Like in matters of love, I have seen good and bad and irrational when it comes to relationships/dating/singledom. I've fallen for men maybe only twice, but I've wanted to fall many times over. What I really wonder is how many have ever fallen for me? Though, I'll be honest when I say that while I wonder, I'll lose interest in about an hour. The past is the past and it bears no weight on my life at present. Just the cat being curious.

But what makes a good relationship? Many say this is relative; it's different for everyone. For me, I can probably, but not completely, sum it up with a few key components:

• Exclusivity - Sure, I've had my casual relationships; but, when someone makes it clear that the casualness is preferred, then it's also clear that the relationship won't grow beyond that.( "We're not the exception; we're the rule." ~ He's Just Not That Into You) Don't get me wrong. That doesn't make that type of relationship bad or negative. If that's what you're good with at the moment, then it may be ideal for you. There have been times for me when this was the case. I'm just at a point where I'm ready to move past that. I can't talk future unless I know you're capable of devoting your attention to just one woman. No one wants to waste anyone's time when you consider that we don't really have much of it.
• Communication - I don't want anyone up my ass and I don't want to be up anyone else's. I like my "me" time and I get irritated when I see friends get interrupted by phone calls or texts from their significant others when they know they're out with friends. BUT...I also don't like going days without hearing from someone and not knowing what's going on. Are you busy, not feeling like talking to me, losing interest, seeing someone else...see how this could escalate? Sometimes, it's just a matter of needing some good ole common courtesy. A simple note or reply or something to say I'm caught up but all is well. Works wonders.
• Time - At this age, most of us have kids, jobs, etc. It's hard to divvy up that time equally. I don't ask to have as much time as your kids or your job, but I think it's important to make time for each other. Even if it's just an agreed upon date night, or whatever, one or two nights a week. Something you can depend upon, knowing you will get to see that person for sure that day/night.
• Attention - This goes along with time and communication combined. We can assume that when we're not around each other, that we at least think about each other. But making time to see each other or to communicate somehow with each other lets the other person know they have your attention.
• Faithfulness - See Exclusivity... Unless shown otherwise (be it miscommunication or not) we have to implicitly trust each other to be faithful. Otherwise, why even bother to start the relationship in the first place. That said, faithfulness is something that we should be able to depend on and not have to question. If you really can't hold up that end of the bargain, then tell the other person and remove yourself from the relationship immediately. Because clearly, it isn't for you.
• Love/Devotion - Some use the "L" word sooner than others. I say if you're comfortable knowing that's how you feel, then do/say what feels right. But even if you're not there yet, there's a level of devotion that shows how much you care. If you don't feel that's being reciprocated, then is it really a relationship?
• Sex - Argue this if you want, but I feel (at least for me) that sex is a healthy component to the relationship. It's very important to me, so if it's not a mutual thing or there's no compatibility, there will only be issues later in the relationship.
• Availability - This is a biggie. While I understand that certain circumstances may prevent total (normal) communication via specific methods...sigh...it would be nice to know that you can call on (or email, or text, or whatever) your significant other if you needed them; i.e. locked yourself out of the house, are delirious with fever, etc. as opposed to assuming they may not even see your message until a day or two later, by which time you may be frozen solid on your door step or dead on your bathroom floor. It just kinda sucks that others can get to them faster than you can. I'm not sure there's much out there that is more frustrating than this.

And then...I move on to other girly topics like weight. I neglected this thing I pay for every month called the gym during this never ending football season. As a result (because I'm still eating the same), I've gained 5 lbs, give or take. I've made efforts at home by buying a weight bench, weights, zumba Wii game, etc. While I use all of those things at home (sometimes), I find my best motivation comes from the gym, itself. When I'm there, and after, I just simply feel good. There's only one thing better, kids, and that's "censored for young viewers". And I'll have my cake and eat it too on that note. Nonetheless, I have found that for a variety of reasons, the gym has to be a regular part of my life. There really isn't a substitute for that sort of bliss. I eat right, never starve myself, and I just have to accept the fact that I am the type of person who needs constant exercise in my routine.

But enough of all of that. I've said too much on both these topics. Off we go towards another day.

Is It Friday Yet?

Today is my little sister's birthday.  Turning 22 must be really hard for her...lol.  So, of course, I started trying to remember what I was doing at 22.  My twins were almost 3; I was going to concerts like Evanescence, Pearl Jam, Godsmack, Nine Inch Nails; hanging out in Philly at the Electric Factory, The Trocadero Theatre; entertaining friends with small "get-togethers"; getting into the local music scene... What does my sister do at 22?  She's pregnant with her 1st child, married to a farmer, and hangs out with my mama.  But she's happy.  Thinking about all this makes me realize how totally different we are.  She seems pretty content in most ways, and I'm often searching for something.  I'm happy, but not yet content.  I will be, though.  It is what it is.

Coffee break...

I'm back, an onto the next topic.  Work.  I'd love to take this opportunity to bitch about my day to day bs, but I'm going to refrain.  Mainly because I'd like to continue to get paid.  Nonetheless, I guess I'm working 3 now?  So I have my day job, Victoria's Secret, and now I'm more or less helping with my friends' concession stand.  They own their own pizza shop, Parma, in Manchester (try the eggplant fries - insane), and ventured out to doing concessions during local games and fairs.  So, this weekend, I agreed to work 7-10 on Friday after my day job, 1-10 on Saturday, and ?-6 on Sunday.  Honestly, just thinking about it makes me feel tired.  But they need my help, and I need money.  Have no fear, though.  This doesn't mean I'm cutting off any fun and good company this weekend; you'll just have to wait until after 10...and a shower. =)  Also, if I can get someone to watch the kiddos on the 30th, I'll be working during the day at a motorcycle show, wearing something hot and delicious.  That said...

**Wait, I'm closing down tweet deck before I go crazy**

...I'm going to start a donation fund for my next cell phone.  As my boss pointed out, I go through phones faster than anyone he's ever met.  Think I can wait out a 2 year contract to get a new phone?  Ha!  Probably not even 1.  But I've always had either a warranty or at least a 1 year discount, so it never really hurt so bad.  The point is, my curve is about to go.  I have no option but to get a new phone, and I'd like to do it before it completely wipes out.  So, I started looking at my options, if you can call them that.  I definitely don't want the same thing I already have, and I can't not have a smart phone.  I'm looking at the Droid 2, but that beast is $450 full retail.  I'd rather cut off my neighbor's left arm than pay that much for a phone right now, especially considering how long it'll probably last me.  Admittedly, I'm a little bit pissy about this right now.  But feel free to make donations to my cell phone fund and maybe it'll all work out. 

Another reason for crankiness is my lack of gym time.  I'm sure I mentioned it before, but somehow I figure if I keep writing it in a public forum, I'd be more inclined to do something about it.  I don't think ppl realize how important it can be in your life.  I was used to going 6 days a week, and I'm seriously feeling it now that I'm not.  I have to get back into this somehow, come up with some sort of plan.  I know y'all understand this, so if they're any suggestions to make this work with a busy schedule, feel free to send them my way.  I have a feeling I'm going to be running during football practice this season and trying to lift early in the mornings if I can get the kids up and myself motivated.  But you do what you gotta do, I guess.  And I'll throw this out too, the days that I don't work out, I need to adjust my calorie intake and that's just too hard.  That would probably make a difference, and I just don't do it.  I'm all about being healthy and just want to keep that going.

On a positive note,  I'll end this by saying cheers to meeting new people...seriously.  I know I have no fear and I enjoy me a lot.  But I'm very pleased with my random choices at meeting people.  I think no matter what the capacity, it all turns out well in the end.  And I don't have these opportunities to bring new people into my life often, so when I do, it's nice to embrace it when you have the urge to connect with each other.  I'd love to elaborate on this, as it is my blog after all, but I'll keep this all to myself for now. 

Tomorrow...there will be a nice long story about football and the boy.  Tonight will not end well with equipment pickups.  Until then...

Texting Etiquette

As promised, today's blog will totally encompass the rules of texting...according to me.  I'm sure many times I have broken some cardinal rules in this arena and, if so, my bad.  However, it's important to make it clear that there are just certain things that are unacceptable.  So, I'm here to tell you how to avoid irritating those you text.

• This is the most important thing to remember.  Texting is not necessarily meant to be real time.  That means that if you send a text, you cannot expect to get a response right away.  Now, some of us typically keep our phones handy, so maybe you're getting spoiled because we normally respond so quickly.  However, texting means we don't have to.  Likewise, we understand that you may be busy, unavailable, or simply don't want to talk until you're ready.  We'll wait patiently, will you?
• On that note, if you don't get a response right away, do NOT follow up with a text that says, "Hello?"  I'm at the point that this will get you either an extremely smart ass response, a tirade of me telling you how rude you are and how valuable my time is, and/or me never responding to any of your texts ever again.
• Furthering that train of thought...if someone uses texting to invite you to an event, at least give a response of some sort at some point.  Not responding to an invitation at all is a bit rude.  If you're not responding because you're sick of hearing from that person, then buck up and tell them to stop texting you.  Make up something, I don't care.  But don't just not respond because invites require a yay/nay despite irritation.
• Stop trying to be someone's boyfriend/girlfriend.  If we are not in that sort of relationship, stop texting me every single day to say something stupid and unimportant about your day or to simply check up on mine.  In fact, even if you are my boyfriend, don't ever do that.  I guarantee I'll start rolling my eyes every time I get a text from you and I'll stop wanting to respond.  Keep in mind, though, it's okay to do that every once in awhile.  If done correctly, it lets the person know you're thinking about them randomly and that kinda feels good.
• MEN!  Stop asking women for pics.  We've all been trapped by this, so I'm not going to act holier than thou on this one.  But I can tell you, you'll get a lot more respect if you never ask.
• This is a personal pet peeve, but there are certain endearment terms that make me gag when I see them in text.  I'm not saying I necessarily care if you use them verbally (maybe I do), but definitely avoid them in text.  They are "boo", and "hun".  I don't know why, but they're like nails on a chalkboard.  Either come up with something better, or don't call me anything at all.
• Drunk texting...we're all guilty of this.  But there are a couple different levels of drunk texting we need to avoid.  I don't mind the gibberish ones because they make me laugh.  But the obvious, "Can I come over?", and the like are unacceptable.  Drunken invitations are obvious and a bit insulting.  I, too, have a problem with all types of drunk texting and I've even gone as far as to delete some people's #s to remove them from harm's way.  I don't do it with everyone, but there are certain people that I immediately go to. (You're welcome, if I deleted you.)

Alright, kids.  I think that's at least the most important points.  I'm switching up a line from Yo Gabba Gabba here, but DON'T IRRITATE YOU'RE FRIENDS!!!!!