Morning Drip

So, I'm pretty sure at this point my love for coffee has gone beyond the general "liking of the stuff", to actually needing it to be a functioning member of society.  It's the first thing I think of in the morning and I just don't feel right until I have some.  It's like I'm not fully alive until the rejuvinating warmth of the caffeine laden blackness has passed over my throat.  *sigh*  I'll take this opportunity then to apologize to anyone who has had to deal with me without coffee.  I realize now that those times might not have been oh so perfect as a result of me not having coffee...even if I thought at the time that I didn't need it.  But I now know that it is a mistake to refuse such greatness, so I will never be without coffee again...

I've also become slightly addicted to reading articles on The Sarcasmist site.  I love to laugh, and I'm never without laughter there.  And yes, every once in awhile I'll realize I do one of the things they're making fun of, but that doesn't make me laugh any less...just a little sad, that's all.  Sticking with today's coffee theme, here's a small piece that I thought was rather amusing.

Would You Like Whipped Cream With That?

Written by The Sarcasmist on October 5, 2009

 

I get to the register, after a stimulating wait in line, and ask for a ’sugar free’ vanilla latte. So far so good.

Barista: Your name?
Me: Joe. (That’s my Starbucks name! :)
Barista: Would you like whipped cream with that?
Me: Yes, please! On second thought, why don’t I just get a regular with extra sugar; and double the whipped cream please.

Unfortunately, I didn’t actually say that for the fear of looking like a douche.

Why I think that was funny?  If you've ever gone to Starbucks and ordered a 'skinny' (fat free) anything, you recognize that last attempt to make you forget that you are trying to get a drink with the least amount of sugar and calories as possible by asking you if you still want whipped cream.  Maybe some people lower the calorie/sugar intake on the rest of the drink just so they can have the whipped cream.  But my guess is that's a very small minority and those people should just have to ask for it if they want it.  The rest of us have to question the intelligence of Starbucks employees everywhere.  My favorite beverage from Starbucks (sans wc) is a skinny latte with sugar free caramel syrup...delicious.

Also, I want a Starbucks name.  I guess I wasn't creative enough to think of that on my own, but it would be fun to do.  So, I'm going to have to think of one now and then be able to remember it so I don't screw up the system. 

As for The Sarcasmist, here's a link so that you can be clued in on the humor.  The Sarcasmist