Cakes and Cups and Cups of Cakes

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I very much would like to start my own business, preferably one that involves baked goods and coffee.  I had the most beautiful opportunity set before me to co-own a NY style deli recently that I had to turn down.  The reasons were simple.  The location was in York.  I work in Harrisburg, live in Shiremanstown, and have to be at my children's activities in Mechanicsburg.  That would leave me little to no time to work at the place due to the fact that I can't risk leaving my current job with the benefits and health insurance just yet.  Those things are too important right now in a single family income to give up.  Not to mention the insane amount of driving.  I felt kind of angry because on one hand, this was an opportunity to live out my dream.  But I got over it rather quickly.  Why?  Because I am comfortable with the fact that the priorities that I deem to take precedence over this venture are indeed where my attention should be.  Also, I do feel that I will have the opportunity at some point in my life to live out my dream.  I truly do.  I think that this was an eye opener to what this sort of business entails; however,  I know that to be profitable for me with time and money it has to be in a location closer to me.  I just look at it as though this was not the right time in my life.

That being said, I'm not giving up on learning and commencing some of the things that I want to do to open something similar on my own or with someone else as a co-owner.  Last night, my fb status mentioned that I would love to make cupcakes for a living.  How incredibly fun and delicious would that be?  And Christy, if you are serious about joining me, let's get to it girly!  To start, I want to experiment in my home.  I don't have the money for rent or overhead of any commercial property, so that's out of the question.  But everyone starts somewhere, don't they?  Why not have your business down pat before you open up public shop?  So, I think it's definitely experiment time.  I'd like everything to be homemade and creative.  I think this will be loads of fun.  And first stop is apparently going to be red velvet cupcakes for Andrew's birthday.  I'm on it.

Restless Ambiguity

Have you ever thought to tell someone things about yourself that you normally wouldn't just offer up?  Maybe tell someone about every inconsistency in your typical line of thinking or bring up as many flaws and blemishes just to see what their reaction would be?  You figure people that are close to you have to know these things eventually anyway.  But yet there's something about throwing it at them in a certain way that makes it seem different.

In the book I'm reading now, Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx, there's a part about the main character's friend and her boyfriend.  They were entering that crossroads point in their relationship.  So, the boyfriend tells the girlfriend that he just wanted her to know that if they were to make this serious commitment and she were to have her arm amputated for some reason after the fact, he would leave her.  He just wanted her to be aware of that beforehand so he didn't seem like a bad guy should it happen.  I find this hilarious.  But...at least he's honest.  What's even more funny about this comment is that today my boyfriend told me he'd love me even if I lost my arms.  Go figure.

So then I was thinking about the way your significant other may view you.  I've been with people who believe that they would love me no matter what I looked like.  That's sweet and all but talk about opening the door to letting me become a fat, lazy pig.  I kid, I kid...kind of.  But I think this bothers me just a bit.  I mean, I don't really want to be with someone who looks at me every time I eat and says, "Um, should you really be eating that?"  Or maybe SLAPS A DORITO OUT OF MY HAND???!!!  I laugh at this one because it recently happened.  Yes, it did (he thought he was helping).  I don't want someone not to care though.  I want the person I'm with to care enough to realize that this is not a diet for me.  This is my way of life.  This is my chosen lifestyle.  It's the lifestyle that works for me and one that I want and need for my kids too.  This means that the person I'm with has to live that lifestyle too.  At least in the house or when they're with me.  If they want to eat a bag of Doritos at work, go ahead, though I don't approve.  I want this person to go to the gym with me, go hiking with me, walk with me, etc.  This is something I find very important.  And if I do gain 10 lbs and it shows but I don't say anything, then I want that person to tell me it shows and to get my ass to the gym (in a nice way, of course).  Note that if I do bring it up on my own and you still feel the need to bring it to my attention, you won't be living much longer. Anyway, it's not okay to have an enabler.  I'll try to not be an enabler for other things in return.  This is an ultimate requirement in a relationship.

I think it's evident that I have a one track mind, but these things need to be worked out, especially in writing.  Such is life.  Now what am I going to eat for dinner? :-)