So, dear readers (or reader, whatever). I must apologize for my blogging absense. The fact that I feel the need to say that I'm sorry for not writing my thoughts in a public forum is a bit weird to me, but that's how I feel none the less. I missed my blogs, but I've sat down and attempted the first of about 3 that I need to catch you up on due to recent events, and I just haven't been able to get very far. Why? Well, it has something to do with the fact that my brain tends to get a bit overwhelmed and scattered at times (hence the name of this blog). And I'm sure my not-so-great eating habits and sleep patterns are not helping my ability to focus/concentrate. So, my goal with this particular entry is to give you a bit of an update on me. I have a couple of event blogs that need to happen, but they require remembering sequential moments, so I will have to get those out in due time...just not now. This will flow a bit easier and maybe answer some questions.
1) My weight. Why would I make this first? Well, for starters, I'm rather proud of my accomplishment thus far. Since November of last year, I have lost 48 lbs. I've been stagnant for the last couple of weeks, but I'm still working on it. I feel much better physically, mentally, and it will only continue to get better. I'd say I'd keep you updated on my progress with this, but that could get old real quick and I think you'd be happy just hearing me shout out the latest number if it's a significant difference. What is my goal? Well, if I went to my goal weight for my height, I'd have to lose another 88 lbs. Sorry if you're shocked by that number, but it's so true. And yes, I know that my build is not one that works well with my goal weight. I was 5 lbs over that in 8th grade and I looked incredibly frail and bony. But...I need to have a number goal. When I reach the point that I feel I look good, I'll stop regardless of what the number is. I just know right now I'm not ready to stop...not even close.
2) The new relationship. I am sorry if this came as a surprise to some. I wasn't really advertising it broadly for all of my friends until what we had could actually be defined into a term...a label. I don't like labeling and we certainly didn't need to for us. But when it comes time to let your friends know, it's a little difficult to say, "I have no idea what we are but we're something." Uh...right. So, we defined it. Anyway, a little detail... He's older than I am, 41 to be exact. Like me, he has three wonderful children, the oldest being 15, the youngest 8. Unlike me, he has his kids full time. Freaking out yet? Don't. I'm perfectly content with all of that; and we are at the same point in each of our lives, which gives me an oddly comfortable sense of home. However (there's always a however, a but, or something), I am pretty much scared to death. Why, you ask? I'm scared because I'm afraid of screwing it all up. I'm afraid that there's something wrong with me that causes me to hurt people. I truly wish things could be simple enough in a way that allows you to 'go with the flow' without questioning anything. That would be pretty much awesome. Suffice to say, no one's ever happy with my decisions; some wait on tenterhooks for the opportunity to say I told you so. They may very well get their chance, but I don't want it to be because of me. When I can look at our relationship in a way that only encompasses him, myself, and our kids, I am extremely happy. It would be nice if we could all be on the same page with that. I actually started this blog out with a bit of a different tone, and now because of my annoyance with those who term themselves 'friends', I have lost my appetite to blog about this right now.
In conclusion, those are the biggest 'me' updates. With an exception of trying to contain my irritation with those who choose not to be supportive or who can't seem to refrain from playing both sides of the field cruelly, I am happy, content, and feeling good. I hope all of you are too.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Oh, The Controversy
This is a blog that I wrote on myspace on 8/14/09. As it's something I've been discussing lately, I wanted to move it over here. You can't import from myspace at this time, but I'll move the comments over individually if requested. Anyway...
When in doubt, go with what everyone else says. Geez, people. Grow some balls here. I'm getting really irritated with the inundation of individuals who can't seem to think for themselves. Or rather, they can, but they're afraid to let everyone else know what their true feelings are. You know the sayings: 'There's 2 sides to every issue (right or left)' and 'There's 3 sides to every story (his side, her side, and the truth)' That last sentence isn't totally relevant, but this topic made me think of it so I threw it in here. However, something can be said about it in that clearly an issue or a topic should not have the bulk of our population sitting on one side. We need balance. This is why I am a Republican, but yet like the idea of our world's liberals just the same. Why? Because it's like yin and yang. It's necessary to create some sort of level happiness and justice in the world. This holds true for our government, in the workplace, as parents, and in relationships. It's a checks and balance system no matter where you place it. Good for the soul.
Now, back to some controversy. I'm going to list a couple of controversial topics that are either current events, or have just been discussed recently in my group of friends, along with my view on the issue. Please feel free to give your thoughts as well. Though, once I take a firm stand on an issue I don't typically back away from that view, but it wouldn't make sense for me not to hear other intelligent viewpoints.
First up is the obvious news of Michael Vic being taken on by the Philadelphia Eagles. In case you've been hiding under a rock the last couple of years, the issue is this. He served 23 months in prison for running a dog fighting operation. Now, we're all somewhat intelligent people and understand that dog fighting means horrible things happening to poor animals. I'm with everyone on that. But the fact that the man got hired back into the NFL should not be in question right now. Talk about your double standards. Think about it. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He screwed up. He paid the price, and hopefully learned a very valuable life lesson. Does that mean that he shouldn't be allowed to work ever again? What if we had a felony charge for something stupid we did? We'd never do it again, but should we be punished for life? I just don't think that's right. I did have a discussion last night about other players such as Cleveland Browns' Dante Stallworth. He was recently suspended from the NFL because of his conviction for DUI manslaughter. He is only to serve 30 days in prison, though he will be on house arrest for 2 years. So, some people are saying that's not enough. And why should someone who killed dogs (not even directly) receive a higher penalty than someone who killed a human being? Well, first of all, Stallworth didn't have PETA knocking down his door. Seriously. Do I think that Stallworth should serve a longer sentence? Actually, I do. But that's not where I'm going with this. The issue is whether or not these people should be allowed back in the NFL, not what deals their lawyers get them in the court room. Personally, I don't see an issue with it. To them, it's work. We all feel bad when the general everday person has a problem finding work due to a criminal past regardless of how reformed they are. So, why these people? My thought is the amount of money they make gets to people. Admittedly, that gets to me too when you think about the poverty in America, but if I had the skills to play a game that is publicly known to pay ridiculous sums of money, I would do it. So, I conclude that it's jealousy. Let them work. If you're upset at the team for taking him on, so be it. Be morally pissed at them. But give me a break. Also, this is just more reason why you should root for the better team anyway (Steelers). :)
Next in line is whether or not people who have physical and/or mental issues should be allowed to reproduce. It's possible I'm going to get my head cut off for this one, but here goes. There are exceptions to everything, so it's difficult for me to generalize and place people into a certain category here. But I sincerely believe that individuals who have severe issues should be sterilized. I'm not a medical expert, so I'm not going to list certain problems that should be included in the list of 'not to have kids' people. Though it might make more sense for me to give this scenario. If two people have so many medical/mental issues that they cannot hold down a full time job, must be supported by the government (tax payers), have over the top medical needs that cause them to not completely be able to take care of themselves properly 100% of the time, then what business do they have bringing children into this world? First of all, the risk of the child having similar issues has got to be pretty high. That alone is irresponsible because of the fact that you would knowingly be bringing a child into this world who's quality of life would be jeopardized. Yes, that child could very well turn out fine, but how would they take care of it? And the possibility of other family members maybe being able to step in is not good enough.
Now, some of you may be say, "April. You have three kids. That's a lot. What about your own financial situation? Isn't that similar?" Clearly, I've thought of this. Well, for one, I wasn't in this financial situation until now. I wasn't exactly in the best financial situation when I got pregnant with the twins, but I had the ability to remedy that and I did. Regardless of my financial situation, though, I'm still able to make sure my childrens' needs are met. I may not be able to buy them a new toy every time we go out, but I can live with that. Point is, I do want to have another child someday. However, considering where I am in life right now, it would be incredibly irresponsible. Should I be with someone and my financial situation looks different, then it can be considered. Until then, no. But that's a difference too. I have the ability to be responsible and control whether or not I actually GET pregnant. Can we say that for everyone? Clearly not, if we want to start looking at all the children born into poverty or addicted to drugs, or thrown in dumpsters, or (god help us) chopped up by samarai swords. So, I don't think this is a good comparison.
The point of this second topic, and the last as I've just now decided, is that we should not view having children as a right, but a priveledge. They are precious, most valuable, human beings and they should be brought into the world under the best conditions possible. That doesn't mean they all have to be born into the higher tax bracket, but their fragile lives are in our hands; they are so dependant upon us. We have to be sure that we can care for them not as best as we can, but as best as they deserve.
When in doubt, go with what everyone else says. Geez, people. Grow some balls here. I'm getting really irritated with the inundation of individuals who can't seem to think for themselves. Or rather, they can, but they're afraid to let everyone else know what their true feelings are. You know the sayings: 'There's 2 sides to every issue (right or left)' and 'There's 3 sides to every story (his side, her side, and the truth)' That last sentence isn't totally relevant, but this topic made me think of it so I threw it in here. However, something can be said about it in that clearly an issue or a topic should not have the bulk of our population sitting on one side. We need balance. This is why I am a Republican, but yet like the idea of our world's liberals just the same. Why? Because it's like yin and yang. It's necessary to create some sort of level happiness and justice in the world. This holds true for our government, in the workplace, as parents, and in relationships. It's a checks and balance system no matter where you place it. Good for the soul.
Now, back to some controversy. I'm going to list a couple of controversial topics that are either current events, or have just been discussed recently in my group of friends, along with my view on the issue. Please feel free to give your thoughts as well. Though, once I take a firm stand on an issue I don't typically back away from that view, but it wouldn't make sense for me not to hear other intelligent viewpoints.
First up is the obvious news of Michael Vic being taken on by the Philadelphia Eagles. In case you've been hiding under a rock the last couple of years, the issue is this. He served 23 months in prison for running a dog fighting operation. Now, we're all somewhat intelligent people and understand that dog fighting means horrible things happening to poor animals. I'm with everyone on that. But the fact that the man got hired back into the NFL should not be in question right now. Talk about your double standards. Think about it. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He screwed up. He paid the price, and hopefully learned a very valuable life lesson. Does that mean that he shouldn't be allowed to work ever again? What if we had a felony charge for something stupid we did? We'd never do it again, but should we be punished for life? I just don't think that's right. I did have a discussion last night about other players such as Cleveland Browns' Dante Stallworth. He was recently suspended from the NFL because of his conviction for DUI manslaughter. He is only to serve 30 days in prison, though he will be on house arrest for 2 years. So, some people are saying that's not enough. And why should someone who killed dogs (not even directly) receive a higher penalty than someone who killed a human being? Well, first of all, Stallworth didn't have PETA knocking down his door. Seriously. Do I think that Stallworth should serve a longer sentence? Actually, I do. But that's not where I'm going with this. The issue is whether or not these people should be allowed back in the NFL, not what deals their lawyers get them in the court room. Personally, I don't see an issue with it. To them, it's work. We all feel bad when the general everday person has a problem finding work due to a criminal past regardless of how reformed they are. So, why these people? My thought is the amount of money they make gets to people. Admittedly, that gets to me too when you think about the poverty in America, but if I had the skills to play a game that is publicly known to pay ridiculous sums of money, I would do it. So, I conclude that it's jealousy. Let them work. If you're upset at the team for taking him on, so be it. Be morally pissed at them. But give me a break. Also, this is just more reason why you should root for the better team anyway (Steelers). :)
Next in line is whether or not people who have physical and/or mental issues should be allowed to reproduce. It's possible I'm going to get my head cut off for this one, but here goes. There are exceptions to everything, so it's difficult for me to generalize and place people into a certain category here. But I sincerely believe that individuals who have severe issues should be sterilized. I'm not a medical expert, so I'm not going to list certain problems that should be included in the list of 'not to have kids' people. Though it might make more sense for me to give this scenario. If two people have so many medical/mental issues that they cannot hold down a full time job, must be supported by the government (tax payers), have over the top medical needs that cause them to not completely be able to take care of themselves properly 100% of the time, then what business do they have bringing children into this world? First of all, the risk of the child having similar issues has got to be pretty high. That alone is irresponsible because of the fact that you would knowingly be bringing a child into this world who's quality of life would be jeopardized. Yes, that child could very well turn out fine, but how would they take care of it? And the possibility of other family members maybe being able to step in is not good enough.
Now, some of you may be say, "April. You have three kids. That's a lot. What about your own financial situation? Isn't that similar?" Clearly, I've thought of this. Well, for one, I wasn't in this financial situation until now. I wasn't exactly in the best financial situation when I got pregnant with the twins, but I had the ability to remedy that and I did. Regardless of my financial situation, though, I'm still able to make sure my childrens' needs are met. I may not be able to buy them a new toy every time we go out, but I can live with that. Point is, I do want to have another child someday. However, considering where I am in life right now, it would be incredibly irresponsible. Should I be with someone and my financial situation looks different, then it can be considered. Until then, no. But that's a difference too. I have the ability to be responsible and control whether or not I actually GET pregnant. Can we say that for everyone? Clearly not, if we want to start looking at all the children born into poverty or addicted to drugs, or thrown in dumpsters, or (god help us) chopped up by samarai swords. So, I don't think this is a good comparison.
The point of this second topic, and the last as I've just now decided, is that we should not view having children as a right, but a priveledge. They are precious, most valuable, human beings and they should be brought into the world under the best conditions possible. That doesn't mean they all have to be born into the higher tax bracket, but their fragile lives are in our hands; they are so dependant upon us. We have to be sure that we can care for them not as best as we can, but as best as they deserve.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Fences Become Walls
Is it wrong to just want to be left alone? Is it wrong to want to, I don't know, avoid drama? Does some sort of human manual exist that I don't have in my arsenal that states drama is a must? I just want to have uncomplicated relationships, friendships, even trysts, whatever. And I'd like each relationship to be between me and that other person only. Just a one on one little world that no one can penetrate. Now, it goes to say that the other person can have as many relationships as they want outside of our world. Likewise, so can I. But the important part is that no one else is involved in ours. Why is this so important? Because everyone has a fucking agenda! Everyone screws it up whether they intend to or not. People are selfish and unrealistic. Do I have to alienate myself to reach a point where I am no longer affected by this? What do I have to do to make it stop? These are the things that push people away. These are the building blocks of walls. These are ridiculous gestures of immaturity. I can't so much handle any of that, nor should I.
It is also important for me to note that I was super happy last night and this morning. Does that somehow signal to others that they must immediately take action to ruin that? Seriously!
It is also important for me to note that I was super happy last night and this morning. Does that somehow signal to others that they must immediately take action to ruin that? Seriously!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Office Phantom: De-masked
Oh, don't think I don't know who you are. I've been semi-staking you out for at least a year now and I've enough evidence to have you deported from our floor. What sway do I have, you say? Let's see. I work in I.T. I control what you do and do not have access to, and I can make sure that your story gets posted on the Intranet along with a picture of your guilty mug. If you'd like to save yourself, here's some rules for you to follow. Stick to them, and we can arrange some peacetime in this little fight. Remember, it's my war and while I may not win every battle, I always win the war.
1) I understand that you do not have a bathroom on your floor and, therefore, need to use ours. However, learn to abide by the age-old rule of not doing #2s at work. Not school, not work. Only at home. Just because you eat half a cow between breakfast and lunch each day and that causes you to have regular 1:30 p.m. bowel movements, the rest of us shouldn't have to suffer. Either hold it, or use another bathroom. There are more secretive and less used locations strategically placed on opposite ends of our basement. Get to know them. Emergencies are a different story. But those should be rare occurrences.
2) If you can't find your way to the basement and have to use ours, try to at least go at the end of the day. There is no sense whatsoever in rendering our bathroom useless for a large part of the work day.
3) If you can't be bothered with any of the above, can you please attempt to cover up the stench? Not so much spray that I stagger backwards when I walk in the door from the mixture of your toxins and the spray's. But enough to lightly disguise the smell. Better yet, light a match or something. No one will yell at you for that.
4) No matter what you're doing in our bathroom, use a toilet seat cover. I use one, but that's just not enough. I need you to use one too so I feel safer. No one's behind should be touching the seats. I already use a crap load (no pun intended) of hand sanitizer...not on my bottom, but on my hands...in addition to washing them regularly. I am trying not to share in your grossness. Help me in this process.
5) If you clog one of the toilets, FIX IT!!!!! Do NOT leave half of your excrements in the comode and walk away as though nothing happened. Now that I know it's you, I will personally make you pay for that one.
6) On that note, if you had a clog and everything went kind of down okay, but there's that little piece of tp that refuses to surrender, don't sigh with relief just yet. Please do not leave the bathroom without making sure there still isn't a clog. If that bathroom gets flooded one more time because of this shenanigan, I will be sure to seran wrap the seats next time. Don't think I won't.
That about does it for my own specifications. But if you are at all confused about how to use a shared bathroom, please go to www.bing.com and enter bathroom etiquette. Believe it or not, there are tips online for you morons.
1) I understand that you do not have a bathroom on your floor and, therefore, need to use ours. However, learn to abide by the age-old rule of not doing #2s at work. Not school, not work. Only at home. Just because you eat half a cow between breakfast and lunch each day and that causes you to have regular 1:30 p.m. bowel movements, the rest of us shouldn't have to suffer. Either hold it, or use another bathroom. There are more secretive and less used locations strategically placed on opposite ends of our basement. Get to know them. Emergencies are a different story. But those should be rare occurrences.
2) If you can't find your way to the basement and have to use ours, try to at least go at the end of the day. There is no sense whatsoever in rendering our bathroom useless for a large part of the work day.
3) If you can't be bothered with any of the above, can you please attempt to cover up the stench? Not so much spray that I stagger backwards when I walk in the door from the mixture of your toxins and the spray's. But enough to lightly disguise the smell. Better yet, light a match or something. No one will yell at you for that.
4) No matter what you're doing in our bathroom, use a toilet seat cover. I use one, but that's just not enough. I need you to use one too so I feel safer. No one's behind should be touching the seats. I already use a crap load (no pun intended) of hand sanitizer...not on my bottom, but on my hands...in addition to washing them regularly. I am trying not to share in your grossness. Help me in this process.
5) If you clog one of the toilets, FIX IT!!!!! Do NOT leave half of your excrements in the comode and walk away as though nothing happened. Now that I know it's you, I will personally make you pay for that one.
6) On that note, if you had a clog and everything went kind of down okay, but there's that little piece of tp that refuses to surrender, don't sigh with relief just yet. Please do not leave the bathroom without making sure there still isn't a clog. If that bathroom gets flooded one more time because of this shenanigan, I will be sure to seran wrap the seats next time. Don't think I won't.
That about does it for my own specifications. But if you are at all confused about how to use a shared bathroom, please go to www.bing.com and enter bathroom etiquette. Believe it or not, there are tips online for you morons.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Is God Single Too?
Life as a single girl of 28 should be pretty freaking fun. I plan on making that a reality...eventually. In the mean time, I am subject to a life that leads me, though it should really be the other way around. Now, I'm still married. We all know this. Yes, I'm attempting to remedy this. My efforts are gauged by monetary definitions. And it's clear I need to step that up a bit to regain some happiness. Anyway, this scares some away and I understand that. I do. It would be nice for certain people to come out and say that, but I can't expect things, now can I?
But labor day weekend! Oh, labor day weekend. What do we have planned? Well, the 5th is the Hierosonic show. I'm super excited about that, like you wouldn't believe actually. Hierosonic has become one of those bands for me that I require as a fix. When there's too much time in between shows, I start to feel something a bit unpleasant, something sad. But that will be remedied this weekend. And then what else am I doing?
Well! Kristen, my dear friend Kristen, asked me if I would be up for a labor day picnic with her and her mom. Who wouldn't want to spend time with such a good friend and her awesome mother on a holiday? So, today she asks me again, saying, "Are you committing yourself to this?" Naturally, I said yes. Her next statement was something like, "Remember that you said you were committed." Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Prepare yourselves now. What has Kristen gotten me into? Her and I will be attending a picnic with her mother's Christian Singles group. (I'll pause here a moment while you expend the bulk of your laughter.) But, my dears, it gets better. Her mom has two conditions, one for each of us. Kristen is not allowed to smoke that day. I...am not allowed to show any cleavage. (Hopefully, you've only a tiny chuckle at this one ;) ) Really, how am I supposed to snag a single Christian lover without showing my greatest asset? Someone please help me out here. I just want you all to know that I am actually laughing right now. I can't really blog beyond this point. But please, let this all sink in. Oh, my.
But labor day weekend! Oh, labor day weekend. What do we have planned? Well, the 5th is the Hierosonic show. I'm super excited about that, like you wouldn't believe actually. Hierosonic has become one of those bands for me that I require as a fix. When there's too much time in between shows, I start to feel something a bit unpleasant, something sad. But that will be remedied this weekend. And then what else am I doing?
Well! Kristen, my dear friend Kristen, asked me if I would be up for a labor day picnic with her and her mom. Who wouldn't want to spend time with such a good friend and her awesome mother on a holiday? So, today she asks me again, saying, "Are you committing yourself to this?" Naturally, I said yes. Her next statement was something like, "Remember that you said you were committed." Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Prepare yourselves now. What has Kristen gotten me into? Her and I will be attending a picnic with her mother's Christian Singles group. (I'll pause here a moment while you expend the bulk of your laughter.) But, my dears, it gets better. Her mom has two conditions, one for each of us. Kristen is not allowed to smoke that day. I...am not allowed to show any cleavage. (Hopefully, you've only a tiny chuckle at this one ;) ) Really, how am I supposed to snag a single Christian lover without showing my greatest asset? Someone please help me out here. I just want you all to know that I am actually laughing right now. I can't really blog beyond this point. But please, let this all sink in. Oh, my.
Wicked Witch of Kindergarten
School has started and I've been observing many parents (mainly mothers) already begin to criticize their children's teachers. Or they spend countless conversations discussing all the bad teachers their children have had throughout their school careers thus far. Sometimes it actually hurts to hear this nonsense. Though it's only nonsense to a point. Some incidents do occur and parents have to deal with them appropriately, of course. But how does a parent even decide if it's the teacher, the school district, or their child that has the problem? I have no answers to this, to be quite honest. Here's a couple of my own stories that will forever sit me on the fence.
Roz and Trent started kindergarten the same month that they turned 5 yrs old. It was a tough decision to send them that year because of their age/maturity. Nick's family, which consists of many school teachers and wonderful parents, said their opinion was that the twins seemed ready, but that it definitely wouldn't hurt them to wait. My family, who insists on children starting school as soon as they can and have many that have graduated early, said that I shouldn't hold my children back (and not just in the sense of keeping them home) and that they should most certainly go. My own opinion was that my children seemed to have a decent level of maturity that matched their age level and they certainly knew the things that were required of a kindergartner. But my 3rd opinion came from our pediatrician. His professional opinion was that my children were certainly mentally ready to start school, but that you sometimes do not know what the reactions are or what their pace will be once they begin. Sometimes, if it doesn't work out, you have the option to hold them back at that time. Of course, doing so has emotional effects that could be detrimental. But it was up to us. And so they went.
Unfortunately, they had to be in the same classroom, since at the time there was only 1 kindergarten class at their school. Trent seemed to do well, but throughout the year we were receiving notes home several times a week about Rozalynn. She spaced out often, continued with her workbook even though directed to stop at a certain page, made up stories to tell the class instead of following the reading material, talked incessantly, etc. She even broke out into song once when the teacher was correcting her (happened to me once too). I questioned Roz about these things but never received a clear answer. Though I didn't expect to from a 5 year old. My opinion of the teacher, however, changed dramatically with an incident that we actually laugh about now. When Nick went to pick them up from school one day (about the middle of the year), he was met at the door with not just our children but the teacher. She was livid when she handed Nick a yellow slip of paper and attached letter explaining Rozalynn's outburst for the day. Here's what happened:
The entire class was assembled on the reading carpet for story time. Long story short, Rozalynn stuck her hand in the armpit of the boy next to her. He told the teacher. The teacher's version of this story was that Rozalynn deliberately disrupted the class and terribly upset this boy. The teacher made Rozalynn stand up and apologize, which she did. Then the teacher proceeded to ask her why she did it. According to the teacher, Rozalynn was being defiant and refused to answer her questions. Rozalynn's version was slightly different, and made a hell of a lot more sense. First...why she did it. She witnessed boys talking about having wet armpits on a cartoon the previous night. Her mind was wandering during story time and she looked at the boy next to her thinking, I wonder if his armpit is wet. Some of us may have thought to ask the boy or would have kept our ponderings to ourselves. Roz doesn't work that way. She needed to find out on her own, thus sticking her hand in his armpit. The reason Roz didn't respond to the teacher was because she a) got scared when the teacher started wagging her finger in her face and b) because she was terribly embarrassed about what happened and because she was being corrected for it in front of the whole class. She clammed up. When Nick and I questioned her nicely that evening, she didn't hesitate to explain to us. So, I re-read the teacher's letter, with her underlined words such as 'disappointed', 'disruptive', 'uncalled for', etc., and I wrote my own letter. I sent one copy to the teacher and the other to the principal to ensure that it made it to Rozalynn's record. I repeated some of her own words (and yes, I underlined them), but used them in reference to her own behavior. I expressed my concern about how my child was being handled in the classroom and asked if she felt we needed to meet in person to discuss since these incessant letters home clearly weren't advocating progress. I never received a response to my letter, and I never received another yellow behavior slip for Roz.
But it didn't completely end there. Towards the end the school year, I received a call at work from the school nurse. She said that the kindergarten teacher was concerned that Roz was having seizure-like movements in class and wanted the nurse to observe. Holy WHOA! She was about to go in and would call me back. I don't even think I had hung up the phone before the tears started to come. Not only is that scary in and of itself. But Roz had actually had seizures as an infant. She's perfectly fine and healthy now, but Jesus! Hearing the word, seizure, again was an emotional nightmare! I started wondering if I had been so busy with the new baby (Drake) that I was neglecting my other children. How could I not notice that my daughter was having problems? What kind of mother was I?! About an hour later, another phone call told me that they were clearly not seizures but that they were going to term them, "extra movements". They wanted to set up a meeting with us and the IEP team (teacher, nurse, counselor, principal) to make sure Roz had the 'attention' she needed. Holy shit, I knew where this was heading. When we met, they asked me questions about Roz's birth. They were thinking that her premature birth could have resulted in her having a developmental delay. After all, that's quite common, nothing I should be upset about (right...). They were looking at her spacing out issues, lack of focus, the 'extra movements', etc. We could put her in special ed or we could look at placing her in what they call a 504 Plan. This meant that she could be taken out of the classroom for testing, be sat in the front of the class, and have any other consideration given to her as needed. But to have her placed in that program, I had to have the pediatrician sign off on a form stating that she had been diagnosed with at least one item from their highlighted list. This included things like neurological diseases, ADHD, and the like. They also said that it didn't matter if she had it or not, that's just a way to work the system so that Roz's needs could be met. I was freaking out. When I was leaving the conference room that day, the nurse stopped me, handed me some tissues and said that she recommend I really speak to my pediatrician. She said that this happened with her own daughter, she let it ride itself out, and then 3 years later the school was recommending her child be placed in gifted classes. She told me not to panic, but to do my research and go off of what I know of my own child. I truly liked this woman.
The pediatrician: As he was reading the form, I asked, "Wouldn't you be held liable if you signed off on a diagnosis that wasn't true?" He said, "Of course! Which is why I'm not going to do it. I've had this child in my care since she was born. She's an intelligent individual and shouldn't be hindered by a frightened, over-zealous teacher. Use your motherly instincts. Support your child, but also what's right." After that, we allowed the school to give her a psychological evaluation, of which the results were just fine. And I made the decision to have both of my children tested academically. I paid more than I did for my car to have them tested and go for a year of tutoring at Sylvan. Trent actually had confidence issues due to Roz answering for him all the time and I will say that his time at Sylvan helped him with that and he's been soaring ever since. Roz's outcome? The child tests at least 1 grade level higher in some areas, 2 grade levels in others. Sylvan's thoughts? My kid was bored! They gave her 2nd and 3rd grade material to work on during 1st grade and she did wonderfully. Her focus issues seemed to dissipate and following directions was no longer a problem. And those 'extra movements'? I debunked that one myself. Roz has always had an issue with not wanting to go to the bathroom because she's afraid she'll miss something. So, basically, her moving back and forth was her trying to keep from peeing her pants. When I suggested this to the nurse and teacher, they found it to be true. Have these people never worked with kids before?
My conclusion to this very long blog is this. Sometimes, there really are issues that parents absolutely have to be on top of. Yet at the same time, we need to use common sense and reasoning because there are actually wonderful teachers out there who do great things for our children. Every subsequent teacher that each of the twins have had have been incredible. Roz's teachers have embraced her personality and learning needs and have allowed her to actually enjoy school. I am forever grateful for that.
Roz and Trent started kindergarten the same month that they turned 5 yrs old. It was a tough decision to send them that year because of their age/maturity. Nick's family, which consists of many school teachers and wonderful parents, said their opinion was that the twins seemed ready, but that it definitely wouldn't hurt them to wait. My family, who insists on children starting school as soon as they can and have many that have graduated early, said that I shouldn't hold my children back (and not just in the sense of keeping them home) and that they should most certainly go. My own opinion was that my children seemed to have a decent level of maturity that matched their age level and they certainly knew the things that were required of a kindergartner. But my 3rd opinion came from our pediatrician. His professional opinion was that my children were certainly mentally ready to start school, but that you sometimes do not know what the reactions are or what their pace will be once they begin. Sometimes, if it doesn't work out, you have the option to hold them back at that time. Of course, doing so has emotional effects that could be detrimental. But it was up to us. And so they went.
Unfortunately, they had to be in the same classroom, since at the time there was only 1 kindergarten class at their school. Trent seemed to do well, but throughout the year we were receiving notes home several times a week about Rozalynn. She spaced out often, continued with her workbook even though directed to stop at a certain page, made up stories to tell the class instead of following the reading material, talked incessantly, etc. She even broke out into song once when the teacher was correcting her (happened to me once too). I questioned Roz about these things but never received a clear answer. Though I didn't expect to from a 5 year old. My opinion of the teacher, however, changed dramatically with an incident that we actually laugh about now. When Nick went to pick them up from school one day (about the middle of the year), he was met at the door with not just our children but the teacher. She was livid when she handed Nick a yellow slip of paper and attached letter explaining Rozalynn's outburst for the day. Here's what happened:
The entire class was assembled on the reading carpet for story time. Long story short, Rozalynn stuck her hand in the armpit of the boy next to her. He told the teacher. The teacher's version of this story was that Rozalynn deliberately disrupted the class and terribly upset this boy. The teacher made Rozalynn stand up and apologize, which she did. Then the teacher proceeded to ask her why she did it. According to the teacher, Rozalynn was being defiant and refused to answer her questions. Rozalynn's version was slightly different, and made a hell of a lot more sense. First...why she did it. She witnessed boys talking about having wet armpits on a cartoon the previous night. Her mind was wandering during story time and she looked at the boy next to her thinking, I wonder if his armpit is wet. Some of us may have thought to ask the boy or would have kept our ponderings to ourselves. Roz doesn't work that way. She needed to find out on her own, thus sticking her hand in his armpit. The reason Roz didn't respond to the teacher was because she a) got scared when the teacher started wagging her finger in her face and b) because she was terribly embarrassed about what happened and because she was being corrected for it in front of the whole class. She clammed up. When Nick and I questioned her nicely that evening, she didn't hesitate to explain to us. So, I re-read the teacher's letter, with her underlined words such as 'disappointed', 'disruptive', 'uncalled for', etc., and I wrote my own letter. I sent one copy to the teacher and the other to the principal to ensure that it made it to Rozalynn's record. I repeated some of her own words (and yes, I underlined them), but used them in reference to her own behavior. I expressed my concern about how my child was being handled in the classroom and asked if she felt we needed to meet in person to discuss since these incessant letters home clearly weren't advocating progress. I never received a response to my letter, and I never received another yellow behavior slip for Roz.
But it didn't completely end there. Towards the end the school year, I received a call at work from the school nurse. She said that the kindergarten teacher was concerned that Roz was having seizure-like movements in class and wanted the nurse to observe. Holy WHOA! She was about to go in and would call me back. I don't even think I had hung up the phone before the tears started to come. Not only is that scary in and of itself. But Roz had actually had seizures as an infant. She's perfectly fine and healthy now, but Jesus! Hearing the word, seizure, again was an emotional nightmare! I started wondering if I had been so busy with the new baby (Drake) that I was neglecting my other children. How could I not notice that my daughter was having problems? What kind of mother was I?! About an hour later, another phone call told me that they were clearly not seizures but that they were going to term them, "extra movements". They wanted to set up a meeting with us and the IEP team (teacher, nurse, counselor, principal) to make sure Roz had the 'attention' she needed. Holy shit, I knew where this was heading. When we met, they asked me questions about Roz's birth. They were thinking that her premature birth could have resulted in her having a developmental delay. After all, that's quite common, nothing I should be upset about (right...). They were looking at her spacing out issues, lack of focus, the 'extra movements', etc. We could put her in special ed or we could look at placing her in what they call a 504 Plan. This meant that she could be taken out of the classroom for testing, be sat in the front of the class, and have any other consideration given to her as needed. But to have her placed in that program, I had to have the pediatrician sign off on a form stating that she had been diagnosed with at least one item from their highlighted list. This included things like neurological diseases, ADHD, and the like. They also said that it didn't matter if she had it or not, that's just a way to work the system so that Roz's needs could be met. I was freaking out. When I was leaving the conference room that day, the nurse stopped me, handed me some tissues and said that she recommend I really speak to my pediatrician. She said that this happened with her own daughter, she let it ride itself out, and then 3 years later the school was recommending her child be placed in gifted classes. She told me not to panic, but to do my research and go off of what I know of my own child. I truly liked this woman.
The pediatrician: As he was reading the form, I asked, "Wouldn't you be held liable if you signed off on a diagnosis that wasn't true?" He said, "Of course! Which is why I'm not going to do it. I've had this child in my care since she was born. She's an intelligent individual and shouldn't be hindered by a frightened, over-zealous teacher. Use your motherly instincts. Support your child, but also what's right." After that, we allowed the school to give her a psychological evaluation, of which the results were just fine. And I made the decision to have both of my children tested academically. I paid more than I did for my car to have them tested and go for a year of tutoring at Sylvan. Trent actually had confidence issues due to Roz answering for him all the time and I will say that his time at Sylvan helped him with that and he's been soaring ever since. Roz's outcome? The child tests at least 1 grade level higher in some areas, 2 grade levels in others. Sylvan's thoughts? My kid was bored! They gave her 2nd and 3rd grade material to work on during 1st grade and she did wonderfully. Her focus issues seemed to dissipate and following directions was no longer a problem. And those 'extra movements'? I debunked that one myself. Roz has always had an issue with not wanting to go to the bathroom because she's afraid she'll miss something. So, basically, her moving back and forth was her trying to keep from peeing her pants. When I suggested this to the nurse and teacher, they found it to be true. Have these people never worked with kids before?
My conclusion to this very long blog is this. Sometimes, there really are issues that parents absolutely have to be on top of. Yet at the same time, we need to use common sense and reasoning because there are actually wonderful teachers out there who do great things for our children. Every subsequent teacher that each of the twins have had have been incredible. Roz's teachers have embraced her personality and learning needs and have allowed her to actually enjoy school. I am forever grateful for that.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Show Must Go On
I don't know how many of you have put on a concert type show before, but I'm plain and simply new at it. Well, I know enough to be dangerous on my own, I guess, because of being directly exposed to it all these years. But I still am not confident enough to 'run the show'. Yes, I'm openly admitting that. I will jump in full force with this, but I just need someone to stand behind me in case I fall.
Anyway, tonight was a review of who's confirmed to play the financial literacy benefit show I'm putting together for October 16th. We have Skitzo Calypso from Maryland and Mycenea Worley. Kingsfoil can no longer play, which is such a bummer, because they'll be in the studio. I knew there was a possibility of a date conflict messing that up because of the producer's availability, but I had been keeping my fingers crossed. There's a couple more actual bands that I hope to have confirmed by the end of this coming weekend. Other than that, there are some possible acoustic acts that'll get thrown in there. For anyone that I had discussed the possibility of some national acts with...that ain't happening. Apparently, none of them even replied. This surprises me only because I had specifically stated to not only ask about playing the benefit show, but to ask how much they can be booked for on a regular basis. I wanted this info to satisfy my own curiosity, really, but also to keep in mind in the event that they were somewhat reasonable so that they could possibly be booked at Gullifty's at some point (that is an awkward sentence that I don't care to fix). I have my doubts about how the question was put to the parties responsible for booking these bands. I know the man knows what he's doing, but it's not his show...and that kinda reflects in the effort that's being put forth. Not complaining, just saying that I doubt it was ever pressed.
So, getting a little nervous about it all. I want it to go well, but I want it to be awesomely fun. I don't want any piece of it to disappoint. I was warned tonight, though, to stop thinking in terms of what lineup would be awesome for me, what I would love to have as my own personal showcase, and start thinking more along the lines of bands that can simply bring people. Of course, people = $$$. I just don't feel good about putting on a band that makes me want to make several trips to the bathroom just to avoid their set. I don't want to do that to those who paid money to see a good show. Maybe I'm wrong for feeling that way, but I can't help it. Too much time spent in the audience, I guess. We'll see if I get desperate, though. ;)
Here's an awesome Skitzo Calypso video to satisfy our more visual of learners. Please watch and make me happy. I'd like to know what you think.
Anyway, tonight was a review of who's confirmed to play the financial literacy benefit show I'm putting together for October 16th. We have Skitzo Calypso from Maryland and Mycenea Worley. Kingsfoil can no longer play, which is such a bummer, because they'll be in the studio. I knew there was a possibility of a date conflict messing that up because of the producer's availability, but I had been keeping my fingers crossed. There's a couple more actual bands that I hope to have confirmed by the end of this coming weekend. Other than that, there are some possible acoustic acts that'll get thrown in there. For anyone that I had discussed the possibility of some national acts with...that ain't happening. Apparently, none of them even replied. This surprises me only because I had specifically stated to not only ask about playing the benefit show, but to ask how much they can be booked for on a regular basis. I wanted this info to satisfy my own curiosity, really, but also to keep in mind in the event that they were somewhat reasonable so that they could possibly be booked at Gullifty's at some point (that is an awkward sentence that I don't care to fix). I have my doubts about how the question was put to the parties responsible for booking these bands. I know the man knows what he's doing, but it's not his show...and that kinda reflects in the effort that's being put forth. Not complaining, just saying that I doubt it was ever pressed.
So, getting a little nervous about it all. I want it to go well, but I want it to be awesomely fun. I don't want any piece of it to disappoint. I was warned tonight, though, to stop thinking in terms of what lineup would be awesome for me, what I would love to have as my own personal showcase, and start thinking more along the lines of bands that can simply bring people. Of course, people = $$$. I just don't feel good about putting on a band that makes me want to make several trips to the bathroom just to avoid their set. I don't want to do that to those who paid money to see a good show. Maybe I'm wrong for feeling that way, but I can't help it. Too much time spent in the audience, I guess. We'll see if I get desperate, though. ;)
Here's an awesome Skitzo Calypso video to satisfy our more visual of learners. Please watch and make me happy. I'd like to know what you think.
A Lost Claude
This past Saturday, I spent my time in what has become the typical way (at least in late summer/early fall) by working the concession stand during game day for the Mechanicsburg Midget Football Assn. My son had played at 9 a.m. (though we had been there since 8) and I was now working the concession stand for my own volunteer hours between 12 and 2 p.m. It was pouring down rain, extremely hot, and more humid than I had experienced all summer. I had begun de-layering about halfway through my shift to avoid sweating all over the place.
About that time, a little boy approaches the shed, looks at me with tear-filled eyes that resembled brown puddles of fright and innocence, and says simply, "I'm lost." Well, break my heart. Geez. So, I bring him into the shed and out of the rain to figure out how to get this kid where he needed to go. The game day coordinator and I questioned him briefly to get some idea where to start. Here's how it went:
What's your name, dear?
Claude
How about your last name?
It starts with a 'B'
Who did you come with today?
*shrugs shoulders*
Do you have a brother playing today? How old is he?
Yeah, he's 13. I'm 6.
What's your brother's name?
Je'Von and Craig
You have 2 brothers?
Yeah
Where do you live?
Harrisburg
Okay. This was about all we were going to get out of him. Our goal was to at least find out something about his brother who was playing because we have rosters that list the parents and telephone numbers, which would lead us to where this little guy belonged. Since he said he was from Harrisburg, however, and we happened to be playing Harrisburg teams that day, we brought over one of the Harrisburg coaches to help us out. While the coach looked utterly confused, an elderly woman from their side who happened to be at the concession stand at that moment said, "Oh, Je'Von. I think I know who their grandmother is. She's sitting right beside 'so and so'. I bet that's where he needs to be.
Well...I wasn't going to just send him over. So, I said, "When his parents come looking for him, tell them he's at the concession stand. He'll be in our care until then." So, I set the little guy up in a chair and gave him some chocolate. He was content as can be for about a half hour until someone bothered to come looking for him. And guess what? He was from our side. No wonder the Harrisburg coach had no idea who he was. As for that elderly woman on the Harrisburg side? I can only guess. But it turns out that he actually does live in Harrisburg. Talk about confusing. But shame on those parents for letting him out of their sight for that long. I'll admit that my kids play all along that field to entertain themselves while their brother's playing football. But they are always in my line of sight or someone else's that might be watching them for me while I work the concession stand. I wonder if they would let that happen again if they had seen the look on that child's face when he had realized he was lost. I never want my kids to experience that.
About that time, a little boy approaches the shed, looks at me with tear-filled eyes that resembled brown puddles of fright and innocence, and says simply, "I'm lost." Well, break my heart. Geez. So, I bring him into the shed and out of the rain to figure out how to get this kid where he needed to go. The game day coordinator and I questioned him briefly to get some idea where to start. Here's how it went:
What's your name, dear?
Claude
How about your last name?
It starts with a 'B'
Who did you come with today?
*shrugs shoulders*
Do you have a brother playing today? How old is he?
Yeah, he's 13. I'm 6.
What's your brother's name?
Je'Von and Craig
You have 2 brothers?
Yeah
Where do you live?
Harrisburg
Okay. This was about all we were going to get out of him. Our goal was to at least find out something about his brother who was playing because we have rosters that list the parents and telephone numbers, which would lead us to where this little guy belonged. Since he said he was from Harrisburg, however, and we happened to be playing Harrisburg teams that day, we brought over one of the Harrisburg coaches to help us out. While the coach looked utterly confused, an elderly woman from their side who happened to be at the concession stand at that moment said, "Oh, Je'Von. I think I know who their grandmother is. She's sitting right beside 'so and so'. I bet that's where he needs to be.
Well...I wasn't going to just send him over. So, I said, "When his parents come looking for him, tell them he's at the concession stand. He'll be in our care until then." So, I set the little guy up in a chair and gave him some chocolate. He was content as can be for about a half hour until someone bothered to come looking for him. And guess what? He was from our side. No wonder the Harrisburg coach had no idea who he was. As for that elderly woman on the Harrisburg side? I can only guess. But it turns out that he actually does live in Harrisburg. Talk about confusing. But shame on those parents for letting him out of their sight for that long. I'll admit that my kids play all along that field to entertain themselves while their brother's playing football. But they are always in my line of sight or someone else's that might be watching them for me while I work the concession stand. I wonder if they would let that happen again if they had seen the look on that child's face when he had realized he was lost. I never want my kids to experience that.
A New Start
I was having great difficulty attempting to blog about poor little Claude over on myspace for some reason that I can't figure out. So, like with life itself, I figured a change needed to occur. That brought me here. Like a new notebook, or different scenery with my laptop, I was hoping that this new and fresh home for my blogs will make a difference in what I write, or at least help me get out my thoughts. Let's see how this turns out, shall we?
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